Today is Elysha’s birthday!
She’s my wife, if you didn’t know.
I’m honestly still astounded — at least from time to time — that she’s my wife.
When I met her more than 20 years ago, I was instantly enamored, but being a realist, I knew she was way out of my league.
She was also engaged to be married at the time, and I was coming to the end of a marriage, so we weren’t exactly available, but my crush on her was almost instantaneous.
I had no chance with this woman, but the heart wants what the heart wants.
Our first real conversation took place while hiking around a lake on a YMCA campground with students — a truly life-changing trip we once took our fifth graders on until lazy, uninspired adults decided to make their lives easier and simpler by not bothering to change children’s lives anymore.
It’s a damn travesty amongst a host of other travesties perpetrated on children as the educational landscape is flattened, leaders are replaced by managers, and uniformity, standardization, and homogenization are the orders of the day.
But I digress.
The topic of our conversation as Elysha and I walked around the lake, helping children grow in ways they still talk about as adults today:
Her upcoming wedding.
As a wedding DJ, our first real conversation was about her big day, just a few months away. As we walked, I offered her advice on how to make her wedding day perfect.
Eventually, Elysha called off the wedding — not for me — and I was single, but we still did not get together. We became fast friends, but for about a year, as we got to know each other well, we dated other people.
Even when we were both single, I never thought I had a chance with her. Truly, I saw her as someone exceedingly beyond my reach—beautiful, hilarious, witty, intelligent, outgoing, beloved by all. She’s four years younger than me, yet somehow, she often seemed a decade younger than me, with more life experience than I would ever have.
And because I never thought I had a chance with her, she was forced to make the first move. She took my hand as we hiked back down a mountain in Hamden, Connecticut, and later that day, kissed me for the first time.
Two months later, we moved in together.
So today is her birthday. After celebrating with a surprise party two days ago, it’s now official.
And even though we’ve been together for more than two decades, I still have these moments — more common than you might imagine — when I look across the room at Elysha and think, “I still can’t believe I ended up with her.”
It’s hard to believe that more than twenty years later, Elysha has somehow become even more perfect. Today, she turns 50, yet she is still more beautiful, funnier, wittier, and beloved than ever before.
She’s also a mother now, and even in that role, she’s perfect. She spent yesterday afternoon using ChatGPT to re-learn how to solve mathematical problems involving radicals so she could help Clara finish her homework. She still ends every day lying beside Charlie, listening to The Beatles. She’s made every step I’ve taken as a father so much easier because she is standing by my side, often leading the way.
When I first met Elysha, I thought she was perfect, but I did not understand the possibilities of perfection then.
She somehow gets more perfect every year.
Happy birthday, honey. I hope all your wishes come true.
