If you follow me in any way, you probably know about Homework for Life.
Maybe you’re even doing it already.
If so, congratulations. You are among the thousands of people around the world who are doing Homework for Life and changing their lives in the process.
Just yesterday, I heard from folks in Oregon, Toronto, and Serbia. All are doing Homework for Life, and all were writing to thank me for offering it to them.
Assigning it to them.
May I humbly suggest that in this time of fear and isolation, Homework for Life is more valuable than ever.
If you don’t know what Homework for Life is, you can watch my TEDx Talk below to learn more, but in brief:
Every day, at the end of the day, I ask myself a simple question:
What is my most storyworthy moment from my day?
In order words, what made this day different than every other day? If I had to tell someone a story from something that happened today, even if that moment wouldn’t make much of a story at all, what moment would I choose?
Then I write that down. Not the whole story, because that would be too much to ask or expect, Write down just enough to capture the moment.
I use an Excel spreadsheet with just two columns:
Column A contains the date, and column B is stretched across the screen. In this space, I record the moment or moments from the day that were most storyworthy.
There are enormous benefits to this practice, even if you never plan on telling a story.
Perhaps the biggest benefit of all is that you’ll start to see the meaningful moments from your day that you’ve failed to recognize before. Over time, you’ll develop of lens for story and realize that your day is filled with moments worth remembering and sharing. Moments that you were either fortunate enough to notice but then forgot or (more likely) moments that you never noticed in the first place.
Suddenly your days will become better. Brighter. More filled with real meaning. I know it sounds crazy, but it’s true. And it’s not just me. Thousands of people have written to me over the years, telling me that the same has happened to them.
But there’s more:
Time will also slow down for you. As you mark your days with meaning, you won’t toss away days as meaningless and arbitrary bits of time. Moments that you might’ve been noticed but then forgotten will be captured forever, creating a record of your life that will quickly become one of your most treasured things. You’ll even find yourself cracking open, rediscovering memories from the past that you can’t believe you forgot.
Homework for Life has changed the way I see my life. Every day contains multitudes.
But here’s the reason I think you should be doing it now more than ever before:
In the midst of this pandemic and the social distancing and isolation that so many of us are practicing, days may start to blend together and feel terribly similar. Without the variances of everyday life and work and social interaction to occupy our time, we may start to view these coming days as boring, wasted, and insignificant.
We may lose these days to indifference.
But if we stay attuned to our day and note those special moments, we are less likely to lose days. Less likely to to see this time as wasted and meaningless. More likely to distinguish each of these days as different and beautiful and blessed.
Homework for Life can do this for you.
Yesterday, for example, in the midst of near isolation, I added these moments to my Homework for Life:
- Charlie knew that Tony Stark’s business partner and surrogate father was the bad guy in Iron Man almost instantly. “It’s obvious. I heard him laugh.” He’s right. The guy laughs like a bad guy.
- I found Tobi in the entranceway inside a Stop & Shop bag, sunning himself. Lucky cat. No awareness of coronavirus and more time with the family. This is a holiday for him.
- Charlie can’t find his Captain America shield (I think I threw it out), so Elysha makes him a new one out of a cereal box that he colors red, white, and blue, and HE COULDN’T BE HAPPIER. SO EXCITED AND THRILLED.
- I sent Katie a remastered version of her story about her late husband on their anniversary. What a happy coincidence. So the universe is still working. Just clunking a bit with coronavirus.
- I finished my letter to dad, and for half a second, thought, “I should write to Mom, too.” Mom passed away in 2007. When will my brain stop doing that to me?
- Nana timed her passing well. If you’re 98 years-old and ill, best to say goodbye before the pandemic strikes.
- I don’t like when people talk about beating cancer. “She kicked cancer’s ass” or “She refused to let cancer take her down.” This implies that anyone who succumbs to cancer lost the fight, when in reality, cancer survival often comes down to the type of cancer, early detection, and the ability to access the best healthcare possible.
- We need a better name for the “ring toe” because only weirdo hippies wear rings on their toes.
I was supposed to be in Tucson yesterday, speaking on three different panels at a literary festival. Signing books at a local bookshop. Enjoying dinner with good friends who I haven’t seen in years.
It was a far different day than what was originally expected, yet it was also a day filled with meaningful moments, and not because my life is more interesting than yours or because I am somehow special.
I just notice things that most people don’t because I’ve been doing Homework for Life for years.
I see a cat in a grocery bag and capture the same fleeting thought you might’ve had as well, and now, for the rest of my life, that moment will be with me forever. Tobi in a bag in the sunshine.
I have thoughts about cancer, Nana, and toes, and so I record those thoughts rather than allow them to disappear in the ether. Now I don’t lose those ideas. They become part of the fabric of my day. I may write about one or more of those thoughts at greater length someday, but even if I don’t, my day is now marked by a moment in my driveway when I thought about my toes, a moment n the shower when I was thinking about cancer, and a moment at our table when I thought about Nana.
Over time, Homework for Life will allow you to see these moments, too.
You probably won’t see as many as I do for a while, but even if you saw just one (and some days, I only see one), that would be enough.
During this coronavirus pandemic, I think it’s more important than ever to start seeing these moments. Recording them. Capturing these strange and frightening days so that when the world is more normal than it is today, we can look back and see that this time was important and meaningful, too.
That these days of social distancing and isolation mattered. They were scary and somber, but at times, they were also silly and sweet, filled with thought and nuance and slivers of joy.
Start today. Do it for yourself.
Do it for your future self.
Share this idea with someone you love. Assign them Homework for Life. Do it for them, too.
