Utah is seeing a brisk business for models with long hair and a beard who can passably pull off a Jesus look for family portraits and wedding announcements for couples wanting to feature the religious figure directly in their pictures.
Models charge about $100 to $200 an hour.
I know I’m not religious, but having read the Bible cover to cover three times (plus lots of other parts many, many times), I know the Ten Commandments well, and I think this Jesus look-alike business at least runs the risk of violating the Second Commandment:
Exodus 20:4-6: “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.”
For a God-fearing Christian — which Utah has in abundance — featuring a fake Jesus in your “Save the Date” seems to be coming uncomfortably close to violating the Second Commandment.
No?
But fear not. No one really cares about the Ten Commandments. Even the dummies who want them displayed in classrooms and the public square willfully and constantly ignore them and make absolutely no effort to adhere to them because the list — like the dummies — is very dumb.
The list is dumb because it contains dumb things, but it also fails to include important things and, perhaps worst of all, contains something that almost no one can do.
The first three Commandments are essentially written by a narcissist (and admittedly “jealous God”) who fears competition.
“You shall have no gods before me.”
“You shall not make any idols to worship.”
“You shall not take the Lord’s name in vain.”
Thirty percent of the Commandments are all about God maintaining his alpha status.
I suppose this makes sense if you want to maintain your hold on power. But if you are the all-seeing, all-knowing, all-powerful creator of the universe, do you really need three spots in your list of MOST IMPORTANT RULES EVER to be concerned with your ability to maintain relevance?
This strikes me as someone with a relatively fragile ego.
Also, these three Commandments are taking up spots that should definitely go to other rules.
The fourth Commandment demands to keep Sunday holy, which, by every account in the Bible, says absolutely, positively no work or play on Sunday.
No exceptions.
This means that if you work, play, or engage in commerce of any kind — watch television, mow the lawn, join your friends for brunch, attend your child’s Little League game, fold a load of laundry, put gas in your car, answer a work email, shop online, or go to the zoo — you’ve now violated ONE OF GOD’S TEN MOST IMPORTANT LAWS.
EVERY WEEK. Probably for your ENTIRE LIFE.
This is where the dummies fail miserably. Only a teeny tiny percentage of Christians attempt to keep the Sabbath holy. The rest may go to church in the morning but then spend the rest of the day doing all the things God says to absolutely, positively not do.
The punishment for failing to keep the Sabbath holy?
Stoned to death.
This is stated clearly in the Bible, too—more than once.
Yet certain dummies love these rules and want them posted in classrooms and inside public buildings even as they willfully violate them every seven days.
The fifth, seventh, and tenth Commandments are fine:
“Honor your father and your mother.”
“You shall not commit adultery.
“You shall not covet your neighbor’s goods.”
… but not if rape, slavery, bigotry, and child abuse are kept off the list.
Kind of stupid. Right?
The sixth, eighth, and ninth Commandments are all solid. Killing, stealing, and lying all belong on the list, though even lying and stealing shouldn’t be on the list if slavery, rape, and child abuse are not.
Some things are simply worse than others, and Gof should, at least in my mind, forbid the worst things first.
The Ten Commandments should really be something like this:
- Don’t kill.
- Don’t assault.
- Don’t steal.
- Don’t lie for nefarious purposes.
- Don’t rape.
- Don’t commit adultery.
- Treat all children with dignity and respect.
- Don’t enslave other people.
- Bigotry of every kind is forbidden.
- Women and men are equals.
I’d still be opposed to posting this list in classrooms or the public square because of the separation of church and state, but I could at least support the logic, reason, and utility behind it.
It would also allow all of those Jesus look-alikes in Utah to continue to populate photos of Christians who want to pretend that Jesus dropped by for the day for a selfie.
