A different way of scoring

I played golf with Charlie on Sunday. A glorious afternoon as always.

This is Charlie’s first season of golf, and for the first time, he decided to score his round.

“I’m putting my name on the scorecard,” he declared.

When I returned to the cart a few minutes later to record my bogie for the first hole, I noticed Charlie’s score:

A smiley face.

He explained that he was pleased with his first hole. It probably took him a dozen shots to put the ball in the hole, but he only putted three times and had a nice 7-iron out of the rough.

So a smiley face.

It’s not how I would ever score a round of golf. My relentless pursuit of improvement and a need for scores to determine success or failure, numbers mean a lot to me in golf.

How far did I hit that drive?
How close did I land that chip?
How many total putts did I have in a given round?
What was my final score?

I treat so many things the same way:

Judges’ scores in Moth storytelling competitions. Miles traveled and calories burned while riding the bike. Minutes spent grocery shopping or showering.

I’m in a constant pursuit of data. Always looking for personal bests. Constantly seeking an edge.

But Charlie’s scoring system was a good reminder for me:

Sometimes we don’t need to consume ourselves with numbers and data. The relentless pursuit of excellence isn’t always required. It’s okay to do something without affixing a final tally to the result.

It might be better to occasionally put aside the scorecard and simply enjoy the moment, regardless of how well we’re doing. Maybe we could treat ourselves with a little more kindness and generosity. Be a little gentler with our souls.

I can’t actually imagine doing any of this, but maybe if I spend enough time with Charlie, I can learn to do so.