More than twenty years ago, Elysha decided to move from her teaching job in a private Jewish Day School to a public school.
Thanks to this decision, we would one day meet and, about two years later, begin dating.
Part of the interview process for a teaching position is often a model lesson — an asinine piece of buffoonery. Candidates are asked to walk into a classroom filled with students they’ve never met before and teach a random lesson outside the current curriculum for 30 or 45 minutes, and somehow, this artificial piece of moronic minutiae is supposed to tell an administrator something about the person’s ability to teach children with all its complexity.
It’s ridiculous.
Happily, I was not required to jump through this hoop of stupidity when I was hired to teach, but sadly, Elysha was. She was asked to come to the school where I was working and teach a model lesson to a classroom of random children on a topic of her choice.
Perhaps recognizing the stupidity of this request, Elysha did something impressive:
She renegotiated the conditions of the lesson.
She agreed to teach the model lesson but asked to teach her own students. Since she already had a teaching job and a classroom of her own, she asked the hiring committee to come to her school.
They agreed.
Rather than teaching a lesson to students she didn’t know in a random classroom, she taught a lesson to her own students that she was planning to teach anyway.
And it worked. She got the job.
Hooray for her!
Hooray for our school!
Most importantly, hooray for me!
It’s a good reminder that the parameters, limitations, and expectations in almost every situation are negotiable.
What is offered to you is only the opening bid. While some situations may be decidedly less flexible, wiggle room can often be found.
I see Elysha do this all the time. In restaurants, for example, the table offered by the host is only the opening bid. It’s a proposal of where we might sit, but often, she will counter with a choice of her own.
Sometimes, I don’t even bother sitting down, knowing we will move shortly.
Negotiation is expected when purchasing a car or a home, determining a salary, outlining the parameters of a divorce agreement, and dealing with children and terrorists. However, recognizing that negotiation is often helpful in less expected situations is important, too. While I don’t think haggling over the price of a cup of soup or a speeding ticket is a good idea (though Elysha also managed to talk her way out of her only speeding ticket ever), opportunities exist — more than we might expect — when we can turn the balance of power in our favor or improve our situation considerably simply by asking for something different or better.
Elysha understands this.
I’m so grateful.
Not only has she taught me this lesson, but it has also led to my finding the best spouse in the world.
