A recent survey of airline customers indicated the following opinions about egregious behavior on a plane:
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86% – Letting kids play in the aisle
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82% – Getting drunk
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82% – Leaving seat during turbulence
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81% – Watching a movie without headphones
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79% – Leaving trash in seat back pocket
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74% – Using both armrests
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68% – Eating smelly food
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66% – Not listening to safety demonstration
I also despise most of these behaviors, with one exception.
I think we all agree that watching a movie in any public space at any time without headphones is atrocious. Despite seemingly unanimous agreement on the subject, I see this barbaric behavior more and more these days, but I have yet to meet a human being who does not find it loathsome and inhumane.
Maybe I just don’t know any loathsome people?
Getting drunk is also not a great way to behave in public, but this is coming from someone who hasn’t really consumed alcohol in nearly 30 years. Perhaps it’s more acceptable in certain circles, but it’s a terrible idea on a plane.
Eating smelly food is far too subjective for me to deem egregious. A vegan might find my cheeseburger offensive, and I can’t stand the smell of Ranch dressing and pickles.
One person’s smelly food is another’s culinary delight.
But it’s the 66% of passengers who think I should be listening to the safety demonstration who make no sense to me.
If you fly as often as I do, there comes a point when you need not listen anymore. Nothing said is new, and I absolutely, positively know the routine.
If you’ve never flown or flown only occasionally, I suspect the safety demonstration is important and necessary, but I’ve flown to Florida, Cleveland, Detroit, Los Angeles, Scottsdale, Washington, DC, San Fransisco, Washington DC again, and Victoria, Canada just this year.
Next week, I’ll fly to Ottowa. I’ll also be back in San Fransisco and Florida at least once more this year.
That’s a dozen round trips on many more planes in a year.
Last year, I flew even more.
I know what to do in an emergency. I know the drill.
Yes, maybe my seatmate doesn’t know this about me, but they must be aware that some people fly infrequently and some people fly a lot more than me.
Do they really expect the business traveler or jet-setter to watch the flight attendant pretend to inflate the life jacket, point out the exits, and demonstrate the proper wearing of the seatbelt every time?
Silly, I say.
Absolutely keep your kids from playing in the aisle. Stay sober while flying (and perhaps in life). Share your armrests (though I would also approve of giving both armrests to the middle seat passenger). And don’t you dare watch or listen to anything without headphones lest we rise up and destroy your technology.
But if someone isn’t paying attention to the flight attendants as they show you how seatbelts work or remind you that the nearest exit may be behind you, you can probably assume they know the drill already.
