Last Saturday night, my DJ partner, Bengi, and I performed at a wedding at the Webb Barn in Wethersfield, CT. It was, I think, wedding #483 of our career, and it officially marked our 25th year in business.
A long time ago, back in the fall of 1997, Bengi, called and said, “I didn’t like the DJ at my wedding. I think we could do better. Do you want to become a wedding DJ with me?”
The answer in my mind was no. I had attended exactly two weddings in my life at that point, so I hardly understood the industry. My knowledge of the kind of music played at a wedding was nonexistent.
I was also managing a McDonald’s restaurant, working full time, while attending two colleges simultaneously and full time – Trinity College and St. Joseph’s University – earning degrees from both. I was also working part time in the Trinity College Writing Center, writing for the school newspaper, and volunteering for Habitat for Humanity.
I have never been busier in my life. I honestly don’t know how I did it.
Most importantly. I had no desire to become a wedding DJ. The thought had never crossed my mind, and as it did, I was not enthused.
So in answer to Bengi’s question, I said, “Yes. But I need to finish this paper on Anne Askew first.”
I said yes because when a door opens to you, always step through. If you don’t like what you see, you can always step back and close the door. But failing to step through the door closes off possibility and denies you of the opportunity to make your life different and perhaps extraordinary.
Thank goodness I said yes. That yes changed my life forever.
I learned to speak extemporaneously to large groups of people as a wedding DJ and use a microphone exceptionally well. Any nervousness that I might have felt about public speaking was soon gone. These skills would one day be instrumental in my success onstage, which would one day lead to my consulting and coaching career.
One of our clients became one of my best friends, my Patriots season ticket partner, and the author of the afterword to Someday Is Today.
I found a way to earn a second income, which became very important as Elysha and I began our family.
That’s just a few of the mountain of ways that becoming a wedding DJ changed my life forever.
In September of 1998, we performed at our very first wedding at La Renaissance in East Windsor, CT. We worked that wedding for free but were given a $250 tip at the end of the night.
In 1998 neither of us (nor you) owned a cellphone or a laptop. We were still purchasing music from record stores that no longer exist. Directions to venues were printed on paper. We occasionally played songs off cassette tapes. Most of our business was conducted in person or over the phone.
A lot can change in a quarter of a century.
For the first time in our 25 year career, we do not have another wedding on the calendar. At this point we could shutter the business and retire if we wanted. This absence of future weddings is the result of us stopping all advertising, rejecting clients who seem too difficult, contemplating the end of the business for the past five years, and the pandemic.
Other than business through referrals or the one venue where we are a recommended vendor, there is no way for clients to find us anymore. The days of bridal shows, advertising, and even a reasonably functional website are no more.
I’m also aware that to continue our business in earnest, we’d need to upgrade our equipment and move all of our music into the digital realm. The cost of the move and the upgrades isn’t my concern. It’s the learning curve required to learn to play, mix, and manage the music on a laptop rather than a mixer board. The adjustment to new equipment. The accommodations required for change.
As much as it might make sense to end the business now, it’s hard to let go of something that I’ve been doing for exactly half of my life. If I stop and think about my life as a wedding DJ, my mind instantly becomes filled, consumed, overwhelmed with memories.
Many of them make me smile.
Most of them are the kinds of things that would’ve never happened had I not gone into this crazy, unexpected business.
All of them were made alongside one of my best friends.
Thank goodness I said yes to an unexpected, unwanted opportunity 25 years ago. I don’t know if I’ll ever DJ another wedding, but if the opportunity comes along, I suspect that I’ll say yes.
