Many years ago, I was standing at the copy machine at my school, waiting as it churned out homework for my students. A handful of teachers were standing in the room with me, waiting for their turn.
Someone asked me if I had any plans for my weekend.
I told them it was going to be awful. My DJ company was in full swing back then, and I had weddings on Friday night, Saturday night, and Sunday afternoon, with the added responsibility of officiating the Sunday wedding as well.
My partner, Bengi, and I have worked at hundreds of weddings over the years, but three in one weekend was unusual.
I went on to complain about the distance to the venues and the rain that was forecast for the entire weekend, which always made things more difficult.
At the end of the day, after the bell had rung and my students were gone, one of the colleagues in that copy room appeared in my doorway and asked if we could talk.
“Of course,” I said.
She sat down across from me at my desk and said:
“Listen, you need to remember that most of the people you work with have one job. That’s it. For them, this job is all they can manage. And if they’re married, it’s probably true for their spouse, too. That means that most of them, including me, are on a fixed income. If they want to buy a new couch or go on vacation or replace the tires on their car, they need to save for those expenses. They don’t have the option to work a job like yours on the weekend and earn hundreds — probably thousands — of dollars in just a couple of days doing what you do. I bet a lot of them would love to be able to do what you do, but they can’t. They are exhausted from this job, and even if they aren’t, jobs that pay a week’s salary on a Friday night are hard to come by.”
Then…
“Just be careful when it comes to complaining. You complain about working all weekend, but some people dream of being able to do what you do.”
I’m sure her words weren’t exactly what I remember them, but the moment left such an impression on me that I’ll bet they’re close.
That advice has remained in my heart and mind ever since.
My company was also not born out of luck or gifted to me by my parents. Bengi and I worked smart and hard to be in that position. We earned the ability to do that job and earn those paychecks.
And it was perfectly fine to lament the long weekend I had ahead of me. If I wanted to complain to Bengi or Elysha, that would have been fine too.
But she was right.
It’s important to count your blessings. Remain grateful for what you have and can do. Remember the circumstances of those around you. Think about how your words might be heard by others. Try like hell to be happy with all you can do, even when it becomes difficult or onerous, or time-consuming.
I think about that advice all the time. It’s caused me to constantly reflect on how fortunate I have been and continue to be.
I’m so grateful.
I don’t DJ many weddings these days, but I’ve replaced that work with other jobs:
Writing and publishing books. Public speaking, Consulting. Speak Up and Storyworthy.
And thanks to my colleague, I remain grateful to this day. Enormously so.
For those words and that advice, I am forever grateful.
More importantly, I am also ever vigilant about the impact of my words on others. I remind myself that their circumstances might be very different than mine. I remember that my petty, stupid complaint might represent their dream scenario.
