CNN reports, “Starbucks is going full steam ahead with its controversial line of olive oil-infused coffee drinks, expanding one of its biggest new product launches in years to many more states and cities.”
For the record, a product that may or may not taste good should not be labeled as “controversial” if no one makes you purchase or drink it.
Having never tasted coffee before, I know I occupy an extreme end of the coffee spectrum, but on the other end of that spectrum are an enormous number of coffee drinkers who speak about coffee as if it’s an entertaining, interesting topic worthy of continuous, relentless, endless discussion.
I suspect that these are the same people who have fomented controversy over Starbucks’ new offerings, as this CNN report would suggest.
With the regularity of geese that fly south for the winter, these are probably the same people who will begin their yearly lament, sometime at the end of August, about Starbucks offering pumpkin spice before the onset of autumn.
And just like the oil-infused coffee complainers of this moment, they will also forget that just because something is being sold in August doesn’t mean it needs to be purchased in August.
If it’s too early for pumpkin spice, then don’t order pumpkin spice.
Also, shut up about pumpkin spice.
Even worse, these annual pumpkin spice critics seem to forget that their complaints are identical to those they lodged just 12 months ago. Also, 12 months before that and 12 months before that.
It’s like we’re all trapped in an aggressively unamusing stand-up routine that repeats every year whether we want it or not. Like the people who try to avoid the song “Little Drummer Boy” at Christmas time, these pumpkin spice pundits are so persistent that they are nearly unavoidable.
If you happen to be one of these terrible people, may I suggest changing things up this year? If you’re in the “Oh dear! Pumpkin spice is being sold too early!” camp, maybe don’t bore us to death this year with the repetition of something we didn’t want to hear the first nine times.
Also, for the record, Elysha tried one of Starbucks’ olive oil-infused coffees yesterday and reported that it was both expensive and delicious, which shouldn’t be surprising or controversial in any way.
Starbucks isn’t in the business of selling products that people don’t want, including pumpkin spice products on August 30.