I’m writing a book of advice for kids. Included in the book are comebacks that are both withering and polite.
My students love them. They use them often. They often ask me for new ones backed upon their own life circumstances.
I heard one yesterday that I will be including in the book.
One kid told another, “You should be ashamed of yourself.”
The response from the target:
“No, thank you.”
Brilliant.
With three simple words, the boy said, “I’m not interested in your proposed shame, so buzz off.”
“You should be ashamed of yourself.”
“No, thank you.”
I love it so much.
Of course, it also works with supposed commands like “Go to hell!” and “Shut up!”
But I think it works even better with “You should be ashamed of yourself” because it makes a mockery of the indignation and righteousness behind those six stupid words.
I find myself wanting to do something so egregious that someone might say those six words to me just so I could say, “No, thank you.” and watch them try to respond.
