Musical quandary
I must have listened to the song The Devil Went Down to Georgia a hundred times. If you’re not familiar with the tune, it essentially tells the story of a…
Breasts and legs but no sex
Did you know that we’ve genetically engineered industrial turkeys to be so large that they can no longer have sex? Farmers use the equivalent of a turkey baster in order…
Which story should I write next?
In the span of the last two days, I complete revisions on my manuscript (CHICKEN SHACK), sent it off to my agent and began a new book. Actually, I’ve started…
The same color?
Though I’m not a fan, I was always under the impression that the hip hop duo Salt-n-Pepa was comprised of an African American and a Caucasian, hence the name. It…
Getting in trouble
One of Elysha’s friends called and said that she “got in trouble” for changing her child’s swim diaper on the chairs surrounding the pool. My initial reaction: Was she kicked…
Religious bias and Old Testament catsup
A few comments about my Fourth of July burgers and hotdogs at my in-laws: First, my mother-in-law and my wife both assert that Hebrew National is the finest of all…
Glass-on-glass contact not required
I don’t understand the obsessive need to clink each and every single glass during a toast? With six or eight or ten people at the table, is it really necessary…
Keep it simple
As a practicing minimalist, I find most religions to be obscenely complicated. This is why I could never convert to Judaism, even if it’s my wife’s religion. Do you know…
Where’s the love?
Doesn’t anyone know how to propose anymore? As most of you know, my proposal to Elysha was a carefully orchestrated event that I wanted her to remember forever. It was…
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