Negotiating the truth
I asked my four year-old daughter to put her blocks away. I wasn’t playing with the blocks,” she said. “Charlie was playing with the blocks.” The intricacy of the design…
Unfair assumption #14: Any parent who leaves more than $5 under their child’s pillow in exchange for a tooth has lost their mind.
Any parent who leaves more than $5 under their child’s pillow in exchange for a tooth has lost their mind. According to a recent survey, parents are leaving an average…
I will judge you. You should judge me.
I would not support Anthony Weiner for dog catcher in a town without dogs. However, I have no problem with his decision to involve himself in this heated exchange with…
Step 4: Do anything but “ENJOY!”
I can’t stand it when the final step in a series of instructions is something like “Enjoy” or “Have fun!” It belittles the rest of the list. It undermines the…
Early morning despair
How can I leave my house in the morning with anything but abject despair knowing that I am leaving this behind? Sincerely. My children have ruined my mornings.
Do all book critics start out this way?
I’d much rather see my son become an author like his Daddy than the book critic that seems to be his natural inclination. Nothing wrong with book critics, but I…
Proverb 1.4
Any man who says that he is going to "get in trouble" with his wife over something he has said or done must hand over his penis immediately. We “get…
Proverb 1.3
There is a irrefutable correlation between the number of photographs that a person takes of food and the likelihood that he or she will become my dinner during an apocalypse.
The boy and the girl at the General Store
We stopped at the General Store on the way to the in-law’s house. Elysha and Charlie went inside to purchase some exceptionally overpriced lunch meat. I plopped my daughter down…
Sentimentality has its benefits.
I’m not a sentimental person when it comes to physical objects. I rarely attach meaning to things, even when given to me for specific reasons and by specific people. Truthfully,…
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