My daughter thinks she’s found the next Jackson Pollock. Or maybe she just loves her brother.
Our two year-old son drew on the wall with a crayon. I was annoyed, of course, and told him so. As expected, he laughed and drew on the wall some…
Five ways I’ll know that I’ve finally made it as a screenwriter.
I write a movie wherein the male lead is wearing glasses and researching something and his female romantic interest reminds him about the importance of eating. I write a movie…
I wrote about a dream I had last night. Three dreams, actually. But hearing about dreams usually sucks, so feel free to ignore.
I had a dream last night that I needed to be at a wedding in four hours but was more than four hours away. I started driving like a maniac,…
Married to Carrie-Anne Moss
One of my DJ clients said that Elysha looks like Trinity from The Matrix. Carrie-Anne Moss. What’s better? Being told that you look like Trinity or being told that you’re…
Grandparents kicking millennials’ asses
I have recently learned that identifying oneself as a “grandma” is a growing phenomenon among twentysomethings who refuse to leave their apartments over the weekend and are adopting a binge-watching,…
Resolution update: July 2014
In an effort to hold myself accountable, I post a list my New Year’s resolutions at the beginning of each month, along with their progress (or lack thereof). 1. Don’t…
What do you want inscribed on your gravestone?
The Moth recently asked what you would like inscribed on your gravestone when you die in conjunction with a Main Stage show in Brooklyn’s Greenwood Cemetery. Since I have no…
John Lennon’s “Imagine” is not a good song. I think you’ll agree.
I don’t like the song “Imagine.” I know. For many of you, this is blasphemy. For years, I loved the song. Sang it whenever it came on. Then I was…
The solution to all of my ponytail, pigtail, and braiding woes
Other than simple brushing, I can do nothing with my daughter’s hair. I can’t braid it. I can’t pin it back with a barrette. I can’t wrap it in a…
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