Never in my life
I have been in many locker rooms and on many golf courses throughout my life. I have worked in fast-food restaurants and diners, and on construction sites. I have attended…
Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend fan art
There is nothing more humbling and thrilling than receiving fan art from a reader. I've received quite a bit over the years and seen even more on social media and…
Get off my lawn!
A local lawn company sent a solicitor to my door last week. He and I had the following exchange: TruGreen man: Hello, I was treating your neighbor's lawn today and…
I run through grocery stores often enough that strangers have begun to notice. This does not make me crazy, even though some might believe otherwise.
I was in the bread aisle of the local Stop & Shop last week when a woman stopped me and asked, "Why are you always running through this grocery store?"…
You see a leaf. I see something so much worse.
Want to know how I think? How I exist? I was standing on the Old Drake Hill Flower Bridge in Simsbury, CT, with my wife and children. It was a…
Disillusioned by the Presidential election this year? Vote for Clara.
Clara just hung this on the pantry door and announced that she's running for President of the Upstairs. "Upstairs needs some rules," she says. Her platform: Make your bed. (which…
It’s true. I hate strangers because of what they love most.
I'm a reluctant atheist (I wish I had faith in a higher power but haven't managed to find it yet), but I can certainly get behind the belief that hate…
Resolution update: September 2016
PERSONAL HEALTH 1. Don’t die. Survived four days at Camp Jewell with 103 fifth graders. I got a cold, but that was it. 2. Lose 20 pounds. STILL 17 pounds…
Twenty-five years spent standing in a parking lot
I'll be tailgating in the parking lot at the Patriots game on Sunday. I have seen many things in the decades I have spent tailgating at Gillette Stadium. Public intoxication. Nudity.…
Does the dog die? We need to know.
I Am Legend is a post-apocalyptic science fiction film loosely based on Richard Matheson’s novel of the same name. It stars Will Smith as one of the few survivors of…
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