When you tell your girlfriend via text that you wrote her a poem…
... but it's actually the theme to The King of Queens. Brilliant.
A sad, retired, perhaps unstable man
My friend, Rob, retired last year.Like my previously retired friends, Rob has attempted to rub it in with photographs of his endless vacation. But unlike my previously retired friends, who send…
My son thinks I’m a golfing god
I haven't beaten one of my golfing buddies in well over a year. I've been drastically altering my grip and swing, but I'm also just not as good as the…
Time to break the law on behalf of Harriet Tubman
Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin, a Yale graduate and former Goldman Sachs investment banker whose Daddy is also a Yale graduate and and former Goldman Sachs banker (Steve is clearly blazing…
How do you juggle so many balls at once? The answer is simple.
During a recent interview, a reporter cited my multitude of careers."You publish novels. Write columns and musicals. Perform on stage. Produce storytelling shows. DJ weddings. Minister. And you teach elementary…
Shortcomings and Flaws: 2017
Years ago a reader accused me of being materialistic after I wrote about my lack of a favorite number, specifically criticizing me for saying that when it comes to my…
Trump’s “real” job numbers
On the wake of a less than stellar jobs report, Trump has been touting his "million jobs created" in the first half of 2017.One million jobs sounds great. But look…
Resolution update: August 2017
PERSONAL HEALTH1. Don’t die.Not even close to death in August.2. Lose 20 pounds.I remain stuck at six pounds lost. The summer is so full of good food. 3. Do at least…
Quite the catch
I'm lying in bed, waiting for Elysha to finish brushing her teeth. I've staring at my phone.I laugh."What's so funny?" Elysha asks."Nothing," I say. "I'm just reading some haiku that…
Stretch your summer
If you're a parent and your child is returning to school this week, or you simply adore the summer like I do, a bit of advice:Sometime over the course of…
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