The Metropolitan Opera in New York is in difficult financial straits:
Recent box office revenue is a fraction of the yearly budget.
In an effort to raise some money, they have decided to sell the two massive 36-by-30-foot paintings by Marc Chagall, titled The Sources of Music and The Triumph of Music, which soar over the opera’s lobby.
But there’s a catch.
As a provision of the sale, the paintings cannot be moved.
You own them, but they must remain in the lobby for all time.
As a result, the paintings, valued at $55 million, sold in November for $26.5 million, which is still quite a lot, given you don’t get to display them over your fireplace or toilet.
Since this odd financial arrangement seemed to work and generate large profits, I would like to make the following offer:
The various works of art in our home, many commissioned by my wife as gifts to me, include:
A rendering of the map of the camp where I spent my boyhood days
The image of my childhood home
The image of my grandparents’ homestead
The image of my dog, Kaleigh, who passed away years ago
The painting of a heart, which Elysha fell in love with in a restaurant, and I later purchased for her
A painting of our kids, standing in the Hamilton pose, surrounded by the Broadway playbills of shows we saw that year
A painting of the most important places in Elysha and my life
A rendering of all of my published works
These are now all for sale, with the catch that you can’t remove them from our walls and only see them during our annual Christmas open house or any other time when you happen to be in our home.
And in fairness, I’m not looking for $25 million or even half or a quarter of that.
For the lowly price of half a million dollars, any of these could be yours, provided they remain exactly where they are.
First come. First served.
