I recently heard about the parenting movement known as FAFO, an acronym for ”Fuck Around and Find Out.”
It describes a parenting style that essentially allows kids to experience the natural consequences of their actions without getting too involved.
I have news for parents:
This is not new.
It also doesn’t require a name or an acronym or branding of any kind.
Allowing your child to experience natural consequences is how nearly every Gen X kid was raised.
We were left alone for days or weeks at a time with a container of peanut butter, a loaf of Wonder Bread, and a key tied around our neck.
Those of us who survived are strong beyond measure today.
It’s also how teachers help students learn and how Elysha and I have been raising our kids for the last 16 years.
Many of my friends, too.
Maybe not the Wonder Bread and weeks of isolation, but the theory remains the same:
Let kids make decisions for themselves. Let them make mistakes. Let them learn for themselves.
I’ve been allowing students to experience the natural consequences of not studying, not wearing a coat to recess, eating their entire lunch as a mid-morning snack, and a billion other things for the past 27 years.
Rather than telling a child what to do, allow the child to experience the consequences of their actions.
No better instruction exists.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve said, “That’s what we call a natural consequence” to a student or one of my own kids when their decision has resulted in discomfort, failure, or rejection.
The chances of them repeating the behavior after a stumble or fall are exceedingly low.
Also, exponentially lower than simply telling a child what to do repeatedly.
It’s a hell of a lot easier, too. Let the world be their teacher. I’ll be standing over here, making good choices and enjoying my life.
The real question is this:
What the hell have parents been doing before this supposedly new FAFO movement in parenting?
Have natural consequences gone the way of the dodo bird for some?
I hope not.
My hope is that this is just a needless, meaningless branding of something that people have already been doing, because as a teacher, I have a vested interest in the effective parenting of the human beings I work with every day.
