My DJ partner, Bengi, and I worked wedding #383 earlier this month.
Our first in more than 18 months.
The couple had chosen every single song for their wedding, from cocktail hour through the end of the night, which naturally tied my hands a bit when it came to taking requests. We were also positioned in the loft of a large barn, making access to us challenging for the guests, thus limiting requests even more.
We had only one request all night, and that song had already been chosen by the bride and groom, so we agreed to play it, knowing we were already going to play it.
All of this was fine with me. I find the practice of requesting songs at weddings to be annoying and a little rude. Couples spend a great deal of time choosing the music for their weddings these days. Why screw it up with your stupid request for Diana King’s Say a Little Prayer?
Yes, it was a cute scene in My Best Friend’s Wedding, but that movie is 25 years old, you’re not Julia Roberts, and it just doesn’t work as well in real life.
I’ve been the DJ for more than 20 years, but I’m still surprised how often an impossible-to-dance song from a wedding movie will permeate the music scene.
But if you insist upon requesting a song at a wedding, please follow these 8 simple rules:
1. DO request your song early in the evening. If you wait until the last hour of the wedding, the DJ is likely locked into a playlist of the couple’s songs, as well as the requests of guests who were smart enough to ask for their songs earlier.
2. DO request music during dinner. Want to hear your own wedding song? Ask for it to be played during dinner, and feel free to escort your spouse to the dance floor. This is a perfect time to play slow songs, and even though people are eating, you are perfectly free to dance.
3. DON’T tell the DJ how important you are as a means of convincing him to play your request. Everyone at the wedding is important, otherwise they would not have been invited. “I’m the Maid of Honor.” “I’m the college roommate” “I’m the bride’s favorite aunt.” None of this means a damn thing to a DJ. Unless you are a bride, a groom, and perhaps one of their parents, your relationship does not carry any weight with us if your request is lousy or we are running out of time.
4. DON’T tell the DJ that the music that he is playing “sucks” when it’s probably the music that the newly married couple specifically requested AND the dance floor is jammed with guests. Essentially, you’re telling me that your friends’ taste in music sucks and that every guest on the dance floor has no taste as well.
5. DO respect the wishes of the newly married couple. If they asked that The Macarena not be played at the wedding, don’t go hassling the bride in order to have the song played after the DJ has refused. Leave the couple alone, damn it. They don’t want to be bothered by your desperate need to hear a specific song at their wedding.
6. DON’T flirt with the DJ, offer to expand his view of your cleavage, or proffer sex in order to get a song played. The DJ is probably married or in a serious relationship, we’ve all seen enough cleavage in our lives to allow us to pass on yours, and women who are willing to offer sex in order to dance to a four-minute song from 1983 are not that appealing.
7. DON’T threaten to “kick my ass in the parking lot” when I refuse to play a fourth song by Chicago during the wedding. It’s not worth it, and you will look foolish when I accept your parking lot offer, knowing full well that I am perfectly capable of kicking the ass of any man who likes a pop rock band like Chicago this much.
True story.
8. DO ask yourself: Do I really need to request this song? Is it worth altering the couple’s playlist in order to hear a four minute song that I can play at any other time?
If the answer is yes, get your self-centered ass over to the DJ booth and be polite, flexible and understanding. If I have time and am allowed to play the song that you have requested, I will, as long as you have asked in a way that would make your mother proud.
