I was driving behind this truck last week.
If you can’t read the sign, it says, “Keep back 300 feet.”
My thought:
What a stupid message.
I was driving at about 60 miles per hour down the highway. Did the person who affixed this message to this truck really believe that I would be able to judge 300 feet while simultaneously driving 316,800 feet per hour?
My car was traveling at 88 feet per second.
Judging 300 feet was impossible.
Honestly, I would have difficulty judging 300 feet from a standing position.
This is terrible storytelling. Ineffective storytelling. Incomprehensible storytelling.
A better sign might be, “Keep back 20 car lengths,” which amounts to 300 feet, but even then, judging 20 car lengths would also be hard.
Not as difficult as 300 feet, but still not exactly comprehensible.
“Keep back one football field” might make more sense, but now I’m wondering:
Do we really need to keep back 300 feet? Does this truck really require 20 car lengths or one football field of space behind it for motorists to be safe? Do we really expect this ever to be the case?
I’m starting to think the truck doesn’t belong on the road at all. I’m starting to think that it’s too dangerous to travel on any highway.
Maybe the best version of this sign would be:
“Stay the hell away from this truck.”
That might be the most comprehensible version of this message.
Or “Don’t drive behind this accident waiting to happen.”
Or “Treat this truck as if it might explode at any moment.”
A little wordy but still better than 300 feet.
Maybe the sign’s maker decided to choose a distance that would make a point. Perhaps 300 feet was an arbitrary number chosen because of its size.
“If I say 300 feet, that should keep people away.”
After all, do we really think someone road-tested this scenario with crash test dummies to determine that precisely 300 feet was needed to ensure safety?
Ultimately, it’s a ridiculous, meaningless, incomprehensible sign, which is why I hate it.
It’s bad storytelling. Words full of sound and fury signifying nothing.
