I didn’t call him a thin-skinned snowflake

I’m pumping gas. I’m wearing a mask because I put it on to use the restroom and didn’t take it off.

I forgot it was even there.

The man at next pump looks over and asks, “Why are you wearing a mask?”

He sounds aggressive. No curiosity in his tone. More of a challenge.

So many responses run through my mind. Good ones, too. Sharp, biting retorts. Amusing barbs. But keeping Elysha in mind, and specifically her request that I avoid conflicts with strangers, the response I choose is this:

“I’m trying to trigger thin-skinned snowflakes.”

Please note:

I didn’t call the man a thin-skinned snowflake. I merely stated that I was wearing the mask to trigger people who fit that description. If he felt triggered, that was on him.

I thought it was a fairly diplomatic response.

I also didn’t start this. He engaged me.

The man stares at me for a long second. I assume he’s trying to figure out if I just called him a thin-skinned snowflake.

Had he dared to ask, I would’ve said, “Only if my mask triggered you.”

Sadly, he returns his gaze to the pump.

When I’m back in my car, I describe the encounter to Elysha via text message.

Her response:

“Please try not to get punched or worse.”

I’m surprised. I text back:

“I thought my response was good. Didn’t actually call him a name. I left it up to him. I thought you’d be happy.”

Her response:

“I’m happy.”

I don’t believe her.

She later confirms that this assumption was correct.

Still, I think this was a considerable improvement from what I might’ve said even six months ago.