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Billionaires really need me

Mark Zuckerberg posts a video of himself on Instagram on the Fourth of July riding an electric surfboard and carrying an American flag while John Denver’s “Take Me Home, Country Roads” plays in the background.
He is widely mocked. He looks ridiculous.
Jeff Bezos returns to Earth after his brief trip in space aboard his Blue Origin rocket and promptly places an enormous cowboy hat on his head for the press conference.
He is widely mocked.
Bezos also thanks Amazon employees and customers for making the trip possible, apparently tone-deaf to the reality that Amazon doesn’t pay its workers well, fights their every attempt to unionize, and pays no federal taxes.
He is widely mocked again.
Elon Musk tweets, “Am considering taking Tesla private at $420. Funding secured.” as a 420 marijuana joke. 
The stock plummets. The post leads to a lawsuit from the SEC which resulted in a settlement that required Musk to pay a $20 million fine. He was also made to step down as the chairman of Tesla’s board of directors for three years.
This kind of thing happens all the time.
Billionaires say and do stupid things.
And let’s be clear:
I am not opposed to Zuckerberg’s Fourth of July video or Bezos’s cowboy hat on face value. If it makes them happy, I’m fine with both decisions. I don’t comment or criticize people based upon physical appearance and find the practice fairly loathsome.
But since Zuckerberg posted his video on Instagram and Bezos wore his hat to a press conference, I don’t think their intention was to be widely mocked.
But I could’ve told both of them beforehand that wide scale mockery would take place. I could’ve told them how the public would react. I could’ve told them to stop.
But for some reason, people with a lot of money are often blind to these realities. They may have the ability to make a fortune, but when it comes to common sense, public relations, and overall likability, many are lacking.
Enter Matthew Dicks. The Billionaire Whisperer.
It’s clear to me that whoever is working for these billionaires is afraid to speak the truth. Too nervous to tell Bezos to remove the damn hat and shut the hell up or Zuckerberg to take down that video or Musk to rethink his tweet. 
They’ve apparently surrounded themselves with frightened, agreeable sycophants. Either that or foolish people with terrible foresight and questionable judgment. 
These billionaires need someone like me. Someone thoroughly unimpressed by wealth. Someone completely indifferent to hundred room mansions and and enormous yachts. Someone fully aware of how so many of them were born on third base still thinking they had hit a triple.
Someone completely and totally willing to tell them like it is.
This is no joke. I’m ready to go. 
Matthew Dicks: The Unapologetic Voice of Reason.
If you know a billionaire, please put us in touch.
Actually. I’m willing to work with multimillionaires, too.
I’m not picky.