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The Perfect Comeback of Charlie Dicks

I found one of these Uno cards – a reverse – in Charlie’s pocket.

“Why are you carrying around an uno card?” I asked him.

“In case a bully says something mean to me,” he said. “I’ll just reverse it on him.”

After confirming that this was a hypothetical situation and that he wasn’t actually being picked on by anyone, I had to admire the cleverness of my boy. The responses that I often suggest when someone says something mean are:

“What is wrong with you?”

“Did you mistakenly think we’re living in a movie, and you’ve been cast as the jerk-face bad guy?”

“The amazing thing about your words is that because they come from you, they mean nothing to me. And to most other people, too.”

“My goodness, are you okay? Can I get you some help?”

“Listen, if you need to say that to feel better about yourself, go right ahead. I can’t imagine having such low self esteem. It must be really hard.”

The first one is the choice I recommend most. It’s quick, easy to remember, and often puts the jerk-face on the defensive.

But the Uno card is pretty funny, too.