Looking for greater happiness? Scientists suggest you listen to music from the happiest time in your life.
“One of the strong effects of music comes from its ability to remind us of previous environments in which we were listening to that music.”
It’s known as context-dependent memory.
Let’s say that your college years were the happiest time of your life. If you start listening to the music that you were listening to at that time, it can help you feel more connected to that happier time in your life and makes those years feel more present.
Makes sense. Right?
But here’s the problem:
How do you determine the happiest time of your life?
Is that so easy?
Is everyone so unhappy that just one particular period sticks out more than the rest?
My childhood – while glorious in many respects – was exceptionally challenging at times for several reasons. I also didn’t listen to much music until I was a teenager, so it’s hard to connect that time to any particular musician or band.
I also had an awful two years ranging from 1992 to 1994, when I was jobless, homeless, violently assaulted, and awaiting a trial for a crime I did not commit. There have certainly been other struggles in my life, including a time in 2007 when cowards tried to ruin my career, but excluding my childhood, which was bereft of music. That period between ’92 and ’94, which was admittedly horrendous, when was my happiest time?
1986-1989: Teenager finding freedom for the first time, dating my high school sweetheart, driving around town with the music blasting, carefree and excited about my independence, traveling the country with our marching band, meeting my best friend for the first time.
1989-1992: Eighteen years old and living with my best friend in a townhouse in Attleboro, Massachusetts that we named The Heavy Metal Playhouse. Hosting parties for more than 100 people at a time, traveling up and down the east coast, staying up all night, so poor but so damn happy.
1994-1999: Finally fighting my way to college, writing for the school newspaper, winning state debate championships, serving in student government, launching our DJ company, and making my dreams of a college education finally come true.
1999-2003: Beginning the teaching career I once thought an impossible dream, finding a job that I truly love, and making some of the best friends of my life.
2003-2005: I meet Elysha. We begin dating, quickly move in together, and get engaged. I begin playing golf. I’m named West Hartford’s Teacher of the Year.
2006: I marry the woman of my dreams.
2006-2009: Elysha and I are married without kids, working side by side, going to movies, and hosting dinner parties. I sell my first and second novels, making my dreams of becoming an author a reality.
2009-now: Clara and then Charlie are born. I begin performing onstage for The Moth and then beyond. We launch Speak Up. I begin writing screenplays and musicals. I travel the country and the world, telling stories and teaching the craft of storytelling. I publish more books. Launch another business. Make many new friends.
Admittedly, 2020 wasn’t exactly a cup of tea with the onset of the pandemic.
The year my mother passed away was hard, at least for a while.
The end of 2021 – with my post-surgical struggles and then COVID-19, wasn’t ideal.
There were moments when the kids were little and Elysha was staying home when money was tight, and things were far more stressful, but still, we had the kids. We had each other.
But those were the occasional white caps on otherwise smooth sailing.
Honestly, how does a person choose the happiest time of his life?
It’s like choosing between a hot dog and a cheeseburger.
Ice cream cake and sex.
Golf and the Patriots.
Don’t we have lots of happy times in our lives? I hope?
Context-dependent memory sounds great in concept, but choosing the context is hopefully not so easy.
