My Daddy gnaws on raw pumpkin.
My wife asked our son who he thinks is eating our pumpkin. His response: Daddy. I’ve been accused of crimes that I did not commit before. I’ve even gone to…
I was once homeless, living in my 1992 Toyota Tercel. But that still seemed spacious compared to this apartment.
I have managed to live in some small spaces in my time. For a period of about two years, I shared a former pantry-turned-bedroom off the kitchen in the home…
Seriously badass porcupine
Underdog was an impressive superhero. He spoke in rhyme. He saved Sweet Polly Purebred every week. He was not bothered by collateral damage. He even had a great catchphrase: There's…
She can find her own bed, and it hurt.
My daughter woke up at 4:00 AM this morning. She came into our bedroom and asked for some tissues. After Elysha handed her the box, I asked her if she’d…
Christmas seems to have arrived early this year, and shut the hell up.
I’ve heard a lot of whining, both in person and via social media, but the early onset of Christmas. Santa is already at the mall. Christmas music is playing in…
“I’m not a scientist” is a perfectly acceptable response to climate change questions, as long as you’re willing to acknowledge everything else that you are not.
Republicans who have found the denial of climate change too ridiculous and inconvenient to continue to perpetuate have turned to a new strategy. In response to questions about climate change,…
The McRib is back. It’s delicious. And there’s nothing wrong with it, you closed-minded, pretentious food snobs.
The weather is getting colder. Winter is upon us. You know what that means? The McRib will be back soon. I can’t wait. I know what your thinking. I know…
I want to be asked more rhetorical questions
I was watching Homeland last night (season 2, episode 1), and someone asked Claire Danes’ character, “Who do you think you are?” I was so jealous. I am so ready…
I never realized how truly disturbing the opening sequences to 1980’s TV shows were until now.
Follow me here: Sometimes someone shows you something that you already knew but never realized how ridiculous and terrible it truly is or was. Like Steak Ums. We thought they…
No technology is a great way to teach. Also, PowerPoint is more than two decades old. It doesn’t count as technology anymore.
Rebecca Shuman of Slate writes about the benefits of a low technology classroom, despite complaints by some students that they are not being prepared for a world in which technology…
