Overnight adventures, except they weren’t adventures at all and they sucked.
Some nights I wonder if I would’ve been better off never having gone to bed. The course of events from last night is as follows: Boy wakes up at midnight…
The right time and place for a mohawk
My wife sent me these photos in an email entitled Epic Bath Time Mohawk. I couldn’t help but think that Elysha would find my son’s mohawk much less appealing in…
Unfair assumption #17: If you lie, conceal or refuse to divulge your age, I will automatically assume the worst.
If you lie, conceal or refuse to divulge your age, I assume that you’re probably about ten years older than you look and probably lack self esteem. Also, could we…
Which book is more frightening?
Dinosaur-on-human erotica or a Ryan Gosling coloring book? Both are real. Which is scarier?
Serious sibling adoration
My four year-old daughter to my one year-old son: "You have such a cute face! I can't even stand it!" I'm not sure if I’ve ever said anything that nice…
Verbal sparring 101: Answer the rhetorical question
Whenever you find yourself in an argument, be on the alert for the rhetorical question. People love to use these questions as argumentative counterpoints, and they can quickly derail the…
My namesake discovered 42 years later
My daughter’s name is Clara Susan. Her first name comes from the protagonist in The Van Gogh Café by Cynthia Rylant. My wife loves that book, and it’s where she…
How to stop a friend from driving home drunk
Slate’s Troy Patterson recently answered a question about the best method of stopping a drunk friend from driving as part of his Gentleman Scholar series. His advice strikes me as…
“And now my kids don’t die.”
This is hilarious, but it shouldn’t exist. It’s a goddamn tragedy that the argument in favor of vaccines is even necessary.
Out of the frying pan…
…and into bigoted stupidity. The smirk on the guy’s face after suggesting that homosexuality is akin to incest is just appalling.
