I’m not spiteful. I’m “aggressively moralistic.”
For a long time, I have claimed that spite is one of the best reasons to do anything. I’ve cited examples in which authors and scientists have used spite to…
The perfect Mother’s Day gift or the worst Mother’s Day gift of all time? I’m not sure.
I bought my wife a cookbook for Mother’s Day. It was a book that my daughter and son were going to give her as their gift. I was extremely proud…
Jack’s magic beans have a better chance of working than this.
I live in a perpetual state of existential crisis. Though I may have been born this way, I suspect that two near-death experiences and an armed robbery that left me…
The two best pieces of writing advice that Roger Ebert ever received
I’m listening to Roger Ebert’s memoir and loving every minute of it. The two best pieces of writing advice that he was ever given (forgive me for forgetting the…
Why you shouldn’t tell your kid to fight back
As a teacher, I often find myself in the position of telling a parent (most often a father) that it is a bad idea to encourage his or her child…
More like six percent
A friend called to tell me that he had given my name as a reference on a recent job application. “If they call you, please be nice,” he said. “Why…
Spock versus Spock
I am not exactly a Trekkie. I’ve seen all the Star Trek films and many of the television series, but I have serious problems with the show. That said, this…
Budo and Graham
A reader posted this drawing on Twitter that I loved. It’s a picture of Budo, the protagonist of MEMOIRS OF AN IMAGINARY FRIEND, and his friend, Graham. I can’t tell…
Do racists long for the good old days?
I’ve often said that my father was born 100 years too late. My father was a cowboy in ever sense of the word. When I was a child, he spent…
