My fictional relationships with women
I’ve had three serious but fictional relationships with women in my life. Each one was more serious than the last. My first began in elementary school with Annette Funicello. Annette…
Why I chose not to vote today and then did anyway.
Here is a fundamental truth about me:I do not like to be told what to do.The more I am told what to do, the less likely I will do it,…
A correction, an explanation, an inexplicable bit of British advice and a forgotten ferret
A few updates on recent posts: Last week I wrote about Paul McCartney’s recent decision to absolve Yoko Ono of any responsibility for the Beatles breakup, referring to him as…
Introduction conundrum
There a line in the rock opera, Rent, in which a character introduces herself by saying, “They call me Mimi.” I kind of like that. Do you think I could…
Small world indeed.
On Saturday I ran into Nicole, a woman who from New Hampshire who I met two years ago at a literary retreat in Vermont. Since meeting, we have gotten to…
Nuzzle!
It’s not uncommon for my daughter to demand a cuddle when she is upset. In fact, it’s quite common. A cuddle is one of the two most frequently used strategies…
Unfair assumption #5: People who back into parking spots are at best irrational and more likely insane.
People who back into parking spots are at best irrational and more likely insane. This might be the least unfair of the assumptions that I have written about so far.
Unfair assumption #4: Men who own ferrets are immature and likely unemployable.
Men who own ferrets are immature and likely unemployable. I have no such assumptions about women who own ferrets, probably because I have never met a woman who owned a…
More ways to die
I’m allergic to bees. They have killed me once already. As a result, I avoid them at all costs. Sometimes people will tell me to sit still and relax when…
If you haven’t met my wife and daughter yet, wait five minutes. It’ll happen. I promise.
My wife, Elysha, runs into Starbucks while I wait in the car with the kids. She’s gone for less than five minutes. When she returns, she has a coffee in…
