Archive for July 2012
Church of the Holy Penis
Our longtime friends, Charles and Justine, moved to Arizona last week, and I am deeply saddened by their departure. Charles was a professor of physics at the University of Connecticut and has moved onto the University of Arizona. In doing so, he and his wife have returned to their roots. Charles is the second friend…
Read MoreFive favorite quotes
A reader asked me if there were any quotations that served as a source of inspiration for me. While I’m not entirely sure how much inspiration I derive from them, I maintain a list of favorite quotations on my desktop that I add to from time to time. The following have been rated as my…
Read MoreThe sexually suggestive Mr. Snuffleupagus
We spent the weekend at the in-law’s home in the Berkshires, where my daughter was playing with my wife’s old Fisher-Price Sesame Street Clubhouse, circa 1973. The in-laws throw nothing away. Included in the set is the fabled Mr. Snuffleupagus. Were toymakers in the 1970s completely blind, or is it possible that millions of there…
Read MoreThree unjust presumptions
1. The cold person’s temperature preference always trumps the warm person’s temperature preference. 2. The parent who argues for greater frequency in the bathing of a child assumes unjust moral authority over the parent who argues for less frequent baths. 3. The person who does not cry is automatically the bad guy.
Read MoreI questioned why there were young children at the Aurora theater, and there was nothing wrong with me doing so.
In a piece entitled Stop Wondering Why There Were Young Children At The Aurora Theater, author Lisa Belkin asks “What is it that led so many people to dwell on a question of parenting when so many more sweeping questions loomed?” I would like to answer Lisa Belkin’s question. We dwell on the question of…
Read MorePsychoanalyzing my Moth GrandSLAM performance
Last Tuesday night I performed at The Moth GrandSLAM, and while I did well, finishing in second place, I also failed to tell my story in the way that I had planned for the first time in my brief Moth career. It was also the first time I had ever taken the stage for any…
Read MoreUtterly terrifying super power
If my wife had to choose one super power, it would be teleportation. I think this is a brilliant but selfish choice. If you get to choose a super power of any kind, the only morally acceptable choice in terms of the fate of the world is the ability to see the future. The ability…
Read MoreThe Baby Whisperer
My father-in-law is a baby whisperer, at least when it comes to my son. This is not the first time he has garnered this level of focused joy from Charlie.
Read MoreLeast favorite animal
My least favorite animal is the koala bear. It sleeps 17 hours a day. I have a hard time respecting anyone who is still in bed at 8:00 AM. How could I possibly respect any animal that sleeps that much?
Read MoreUrine, drugs and advertising
Have you seen this item? The Wizmark is an interactive urinal communicator that can talk, sing, or flash a string of lights around a promotional message when greeting a visitor a “visitor.” The large anti-glare, water-proof viewing screen is strategically located just above the drain to ensure guaranteed viewing without interruptions. Using the elements of…
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