5 pieces of advice from my evil stepfather
In the ten years I spent living with my evil step-father before leaving home at the age of eighteen, he attempted to teach me the following things: 1. The most…
What is Hell?
The Devil believes that hell is a place where your greatest loves can be turned against you, so in my case… Springsteen’s Thunder Road, over and over again for eternity.…
At last! A job tailor-made to my abilities.
When Clara is old enough, I will tell her to try to combine her talent and her passion into her choice of career in order to ensure happiness and success.…
Pants are not priceless
A clothing store called Khaki and Black went out of business in our town’s center last year and has been replaced by a bank. As I drove by with a…
Do vegans force their pets and children to be vegans, too?
I find veganism fascinating, particularly when it is practiced for ethical reasons. The morality behind avoiding meat raises so many interesting questions. For example: Do ethical vegans force their pets…
You’re not welcome
I spent last Saturday attending a bat mitzvah in New Jersey. It was a long drive and an early start, so we awoke early, plucked our daughter from the crib,…
I got hit by a car and forgot about it, and my memory loss had nothing to do with my head injury
On Easter 2001, I was leaving Boston Market with a meal for six when I was hit by a car that was speeding around the building and into the parking…
Programmed to despise shopping
I was listening to a former student, a boy, describe his recent adventures in the mall. Though he spoke for about five minutes, the crux of his story was this:…
Sit and watch Daddy poop!
Thank goodness I’ve never found myself with the need to strap one of my children into one of these things. I’m not the most modest person in the world, but…
Talking to the wrong guy, buddy
I was standing next to a tall, round man in the line at McDonald’s, waiting for my food. This was the same restaurant that I managed while attending college, so…
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