Self administered surgery
Last night I did a reading at the Millville Public Library in Millville, MA, a town adjacent to my hometown and one of two towns that sent students to my…
Dick Van Dyke rescued by porpoises?
In order for this story to be true, the following must be true: 1. Dick Van Dyke, 84-years old, still surfs. Plausible, I guess. 2. Dick Van Dyke fell asleep…
Bologna and catsup sandwiches
My daughter eats cheese sandwiches on whole wheat bread for lunch. My wife will sometimes cut the sandwich in the shape of a heart. She would add turkey if my…
Large organizations with large problems
Over the past three days: Three Pittsburg Steelers players emerged from their Monday night game with concussions. This is becoming a serious problem for the NFL. The Dallas Cowboys website…
Spreading the McRib and other good news
Over the last week or so, I have been yearning for a McRib, which my local McDonald's is now offering for a limited time only. Frightening words for a McRib…
Lessons from two years of parenting
I’ve been collecting a list of lessons that I have learned from my first two years of parenting. The list was getting long so I thought it was time to…
My way is the right way.
Sometimes the correct pronunciation is still the wrong pronunciation. Two words in particular: Macabre, which can be pronounced muh-kah-bruh or muh-kahb, should never be pronounced muh-kab-bruh. It sounds clunky and…
How do you answer “What do you do for a living?” when you have three jobs?
Whenever I play golf, I find myself meeting new people and having to answer the question, "What do you do for a living?" This is tricky for me. I often…
Perverse political pleasure
I take a perverse pleasure in seeing the political signs for candidates who I despised well after the election is over. It’s a pleasant reminder of how well things worked…
Rhetorical blunder
I said it a week ago when I saw this ad for the first time (and foolishly failed to record my prescience here): In the age of the mash-up, there…
