Never play halfway
I was on the elliptical machine last night, watching the Red Sox-Rangers game. During my forty minute workout, the Sox look pitiful. The Rangers had already stolen nine bases on…
Leave my goddamn grass alone.
I would like to propose a new man rule: Men don't comment on the state of another man's lawn. A friend of mine came over the other day and noted…
Justified pride?
Is it wrong that I took so much pleasure in beating my former students and a bunch of teenagers in laser tag this afternoon? I mean, I crushed them. In…
The Hunt for Red October: Good and not so much
I caught some of The Hunt for Red October yesterday. It’s a good movie and a better book, but having not seen the film in years, I had some thoughts…
Deception I tell you!
New rule: Walking in a retail district or downtown area does not constitute a genuine walk. I can’t tell you how many times I have been asked by friends and…
Forgive or else!
I drive by a billboard everyday that reads: If you do not forgive others, God will not forgive you- Matthew 6:15 Does this strike anyone else as a gun-to-the-head kind…
No cutting
A friend of mine was telling the following story last night to a group of our mutual friends, and I agreed to re-post the story here. The incident occurred on…
Carl Linnaeus is rolling over in his grave
Have you ever noticed the Petco sign? Note the tag line beneath the store name. Supplies (dot) Fish & Grooming. How did the geniuses who designed this sign rationalize this…
I love this quote
“I’m proud of you, Mom. You’re like Christopher Columbus. You discovered something millions of people knew about before you.” –Lisa Simpson
No neck
As some of you may know, I am universally acknowledged as having no neck. My head literally sits atop my shoulders. While it hasn't bothered me very much, my friend…
