As a DJ, I occasionally run into an odd breed of clients known as “Soundtrack People.” These individuals base their entire musical life upon the soundtracks of movies. Every song they choose for their wedding can be directly linked to a specific film, and the more popular the movie, the more likely the song will be included in the wedding.

It’s bizarre. The entirety of the entire musical selections is typically generated from less than a dozen albums, and they frequently say things like, “You can play any song from the My Best Friend’s Wedding soundtrack. Every song is great.”

Or “Can you play “Bette Davis Eyes,” but the Gwyneth Paltrow version of the song from the Duets soundtrack?”

Or “Can you play that song that plays in the background as Forrest Gump is running across the country? Not the first song. The second one. The one after he crosses the Mississippi for the third time.”

And if an actor or actress actually sang or danced to a song in the film, and that film has anything to do with a wedding or a party, like Rupert Everett, Julia Roberts, and the cast singing “Say a Little Prayer” in the movie My Best Friend’s Wedding, the song is a guaranteed, off-the-charts, must-play #1 hit with this breed of client.

Sadly, these are the songs that most often fail at a wedding, “Say a Little Prayer” included. As much as the bride wants her family and friends to seem as hip and fun as Julia Roberts and company appear in that film, it just isn’t going to happen. I’m sorry, people, but you simply cannot recreate the falsified, albeit festive, atmosphere that professional actors, skilled directors, sophisticated lighting, and multiple camera angles were required to produce.

More importantly, basing the extent of your musical interest upon the films Fever Pitch, The Wedding Singer, Coyote Ugly, The Breakfast Club, Pulp Fiction, and Singles is… well… a little sad.

Don’t you think?

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