I was speaking with a nurse on the phone on Tuesday, reviewing the requirements for my angiogram the next day.
Hydrate.
No caffeine 12 hours before the test.
No food four hours before the test.
“My appointment is at 11:00,” I said. “Can I eat breakfast at 6:00? Five hours before the test?”
I like my breakfast.
“Yes,” she said. She explained that they didn’t want me to eat too close to the test because the dye they would be injecting into the body sometimes causes patients to feel nauseous and vomit, so they wanted me to arrive with an empty stomach.
“Oh,” I said. “Have no fear. I haven’t vomited since 1983.”
“Seriously?” she asked.
“Yes,” I replied. “Rocky Point Amusement Park. The Music Express. Summer of ’83. Last time I threw up.”
She laughed and said, “I guess you don’t drink like I do.”
I have to be honest:
This was not the comment I wanted to hear from the nurse who might be sticking an IV needle into my arm and injecting me with medications the next day.
I’m sure she wouldn’t be coming to work drunk, but if she was drinking enough to vomit the night before, what kind of shape would she be in the next day?
Also, she was correct. I clearly don’t drink like she does. I essentially stopped drinking alcohol around 1996. It wasn’t terribly appealing to me, and I never needed alcohol to relax or lower my inhibitions or serve as a social lubricant.
I was good to go without it, so why bother drinking?
I’ll still sip some champagne if someone is being toasted or taste a cocktail if Elysha offers, but I haven’t actually consumed an alcoholic drink in 30 years.
But for the record:
I was an outstanding drinker in my day. I could drink anyone under the table and often did. I was capable of drinking large quantities of alcohol and never got sick and never woke the next day with a hangover.
I have friends who feel like I abandoned a legitmate talent when I stopped drinking.
I think I probably did myself, my body, my mind, and my bank account a huge favor.
I would’ve suggested the same life choices to the nurse on the phone, but since she might be the one sticking me the next day, I didn’t want to annoy her or make her feel judged.
