mcdonalds | Matthew Dicks

I found myself at dinner recently assuring someone for what felt the millionth time that the eggs cooked at McDonald’s are in fact real eggs. “They actually crack eggs?” she asked. “Yes,” I said. “They crack the damn eggs.” “Really? They crack real eggs every morning?” “Yes.” The question arose because I had been explaining…

I was standing in line at a McDonald’s inside Bradley International Airport on Friday afternoon, minding my own business, hoping to grab a bite to eat before boarding my flight. Then I noticed the phone in the hand of the woman standing in front of me, She was watching porn on her phone, earbuds jammed…

After an avalanche of responses to the post about the incident in which I made an old woman cry in a McDonald’s, I have some thoughts if you’re interested: 1. The thoughtful, respectful nature of the responses was remarkable, especially considering they were so heavily skewed against me and my decision. While most people thought…

I’m standing in line at McDonald’s, waiting patiently to order my daily Egg McMuffin. The woman in front of me is having a problem. She’s an old lady in the truest sense of the word. She’s as crooked as a question mark and is holding a cane. She’s ordered a “Big Breakfast Egg McMuffin” and…

I’ve spent this weekend at the world famous Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health. With its silent breakfasts, farm to table meals, candle-lit shrines, and slow walking, contemplative guests, the place doesn’t exactly match my aesthetic. I’m sort of like a bull in a China shop here.A man without a country.A misplaced, misbegotten vagabond. I…

I have never entered a strip club. Sitting beside my male friends and watching women who want nothing to do with me remove their clothes has never appealed to me. Unified public, unsatisfied arousal is just not my thing. I attended a bachelor party at a strip club once, but when we arrived at the…

I took the kids to McDonald’s on Thanksgiving morning, thinking that this would be a win-win-win for the entire family. I would eat an Egg McMuffin and get some work done. The kids would eat pancakes and play in the PlayPlace. Elysha would have some time at home alone to read and relax. And for…

I have to assume that the McRib will be coming to Connecticut shortly. I ate three McRibs during a two day trip to Indiana in the fall, and according to the McRib locator (yes, it’s a thing), there are confirmed sightings in Oklahoma and a possible sighting in Weymouth, Massachusetts. There is hope. As Andy…

The weather is getting colder. Winter is upon us. You know what that means? The McRib will be back soon. I can’t wait. I know what your thinking. I know how many of you feel about the McRib and McDonald’s in general. But wait. Just listen. After mentioning to my class that I often eat…

For the first time in 50-plus years, you won’t find a block of animation on broadcast this morning. Saturday morning cartoons are over. It’s the end of an era. I’m a little sad. Saturday morning cartoons were a staple for me growing up. Shows like Super Friends and The Smurfs kept me entertained for hours.…

Posts Tagged ‘mcdonalds’

Yes, they are real eggs

Porn in a McDonald’s line

I made an old lady cry. I asked if I was wrong. Readers responded.

I made an old woman cry. Was I wrong?

Meditation and McDonald’s

The Moth: A Strip Club of my Own Making

The secret to being brave – revealed by a six year-old girl

The McRib is super healthy and nothing like a yoga mat

The McRib is back. It’s delicious. And there’s nothing wrong with it, you closed-minded, pretentious food snobs.

Saturday morning cartoons are no more. A sad day for someone whose 27 year friendship may have been predicated on a Saturday morning cartoon theme song.