More than a decade ago, a reader accused me of being materialistic after I wrote about my lack of a favorite number. The reader specifically criticized me for saying that when it comes to my salary, my favorite number is the largest number possible.
After properly refuting his charges of materialism, I acknowledged that I had plenty of other shortcomings and offered to list them to appease my angry reader. Then I did. Then I added to the list when friends suggested I had forgotten a few.
Nice friends. Huh?
So began an annual tradition of posting my list of shortcomings and flaws, starting in 2011 (the list only had ten items that year) and continuing for the past 14 years, including this year.
Every year, I review the list for possible additions and deletions, and I allow my friends to add even more items to the list.
I tried to remove these three from the list this year, thinking I’d made significant progress in these areas, but Elysha said no. The three I attempted to remove were the following:
- It is hard for me to empathize with adults with difficulties I do not understand or would’ve avoided entirely.
- I have difficulty putting myself in another person’s shoes. Rather than attempting to understand the person, I envision myself within their context and point out what I would’ve done instead.
- I am exceptionally hard on myself when I fail to reach a goal or meet a deadline that strikes me as reasonable.
She admitted that I was improving with the first one, but she looked at me like I had lost my mind when I proposed eliminating the third one.
I’ve also added three items to the list, which should have been on the list for a long time:
- I can’t hit a driver more than 200 yards, and my average is a paltry 160 yards.
- I’m exceptionally susceptible to my children’s guilt trips.
- I am deeply uncomfortable quoting a fair market price for my services and expertise.
I am, however, removing one item from the list:
- Despite my loathing of typos, my blog entries contain far too many typos.
Thanks to the combined powers of Grammarly, better blogging software, and a husband and wife team who report on typos, misspellings, and the like — independently but often simultaneously— my blog entries have been free of many of the typos that once plagued them.
Huzzah. I’m improving.
And so, I offer you, yet again:
Matthew Dicks’s List of Shortcomings and Flaws – 2024
1. I have a limited, albeit expanding palate (though I’d like to stress that my limited palate is not by choice).
2. It is hard for me to empathize with adults who suffer from difficulties I don’t understand or would’ve avoided entirely.
3. I have difficulty putting myself in another person’s shoes. Rather than attempting to understand the person, I envision myself within their context and point out what I would’ve done instead.
4. I do many things for the sake of spite.
5. I become angry and petulant when told what to wear.
6. Bees kill me dead.
7. I become sullen and inconsolable when the New England Patriots lose a football game they should’ve won.
8. I lack adequate empathy for adults who are not resourceful or are easily overwhelmed.
9. I cannot make the simplest of household or automobile repairs.
10. I eat ice cream too quickly.
11. I am uncomfortable and ineffective at haggling for a better price.
12. I am exceptionally hard on myself when I fail to reach a goal or meet a deadline that strikes me as reasonable.
13. I drink too much Diet Coke.
14. My dislike for ineffective, inefficient, or poorly planned meetings makes me unproductive, inattentive, and obstructionist.
15. Disorganization and clutter negatively impact my mood, particularly when I cannot control the clutter myself.
16. I am overly critical of my fellow storytellers, applying my own rules and standards to their performances.
17. I lack patience when it comes to assisting people with technology.
18. I don’t spend enough time with my best friend.
19. I have a difficult time respecting or celebrating someone’s accomplishments if economic privilege, nepotism, or legacy assisted in their success in any way.
20. I believe there are some right and wrong ways of parenting.
21. I love saying, “I told you so” so freaking much.
22. I am far too confrontational in moments when it would be safer and wiser to avoid the confrontation entirely.
23. Rule followers annoy me.
24. I think less of people unwilling to sacrifice sleep or violate a comfort zone to experience something new or potentially memorable.
25. I wrongfully assume that a person’s job performance can be assessed by their ability to speak publicly while performing that job.
26. I can’t hit a drive more than 200 yards, and my average is a paltry 160 yards.
27. I’m exceptionally susceptible to my children’s guilt trips.
28. I am deeply uncomfortable quoting a fair market price for my services and expertise.
