I’ve been in Amsterdam for three days now, working with The Speech Republic, a communications coaching company that trains speakers, executives, and others in the art of storytelling and connection. I had the pleasure of working with their team of trainers to help them improve their storytelling instruction, and last night I performed onstage for about 60 of their clients.
I’ve rarely met a group of people so aligned to my interests and beliefs.
They are also an extraordinary group of people from enormously diverse backgrounds. Amongst their trainers are famous singers and actors, a soap opera writer, a trauma counselor, and more. It’s been a joy to work with the team.
As I prepare to leave this amazing city for work in Montreal, a few notes:
You should visit Amsterdam. It’s a beautiful and strange city unlike any I’ve ever seen. The canals are beautiful and incredible, but there is so much more to this city.
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Amsterdam has no Diet Coke. Plenty of Coke Zero, but no Diet Coke. There is reportedly a product called Coco Colo Light, a close cousin to Diet Coke, but I have yet to find it.
These people are monsters.
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Amsterdam residents speak both English and Dutch, which makes it easy for me to get around.
Unlike most countries, where foreign TV and movies are dubbed into the local language, the Dutch don’t subtitle or dub anything, which is one reason everyone is so fluent in both languages. Since so much American and British TV and movies are exported worldwide, Dutch children grow up watching TV in English, so acquiring the language is much easier for them.
This only works, of course, where people consume foreign entertainment in large quantities. You don’t need to spend much time in places like the Netherlands, Canada, the UK, or even Brazil to realize that one of the United States’ primary exports is film, TV, and music.
American music is everywhere, and when you turn on a TV in any of these countries, you see American shows and movies on many channels.
Learning English is much easier when you’re watching and listening to so much English without trying to translate it into the local language.
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Bicycles take precedence over pedestrians and cars in this city, and if you’re not careful, a cyclist will plow you over. It’s odd to walk around in a place where someone on a bike absolutely has the right of way, and pedestrians need to keep their heads on a swivel at all times.
As a result, the Dutch don’t walk the streets staring at their phones. I have yet to see a single person walking while looking at their phone.
It’s so refreshing.
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A few food spots in Amsterdam are exceedingly popular because of a combination of a specific, delicious item and its photogenic appearance, which leads to long lines for things like truffle fries, apple pies, cheese toasties, and cookies. I’ve seen long lines for these items in multiple locations, which is both atrocious and appalling.
If you’re waiting in line for fries for half an hour so you can post on social media, you don’t value your time and oddly assume today might not be your last day on Earth.
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At one point, one of my Uber drivers had to stop mid-trip to get gas because there is no gas in the city. I’ve taken hundreds of Ubers in my life, but this was a first.
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My hotel is about 100 yards from Amsterdam’s biggest arena, which is terrible if there is an event and you want to get back to your hotel. Last night, my Uber driver had to drop me off about half a mile from my hotel because the streets were blocked for everyone without a ticket to the show.
I wouldn’t recommend this hotel to anyone who isn’t coming to the arena for entertainment. It was a long walk at 11:00 PM.
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The canals are stunning. I took a two-hour canal tour through the city, and every turn and twist was more beautiful than the next. The canals are everywhere, but you never tire of seeing them or the small bridges — more than 2,000 in all — spanning them.
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Dutch breakfast consists of breads and cold cuts. Though I love an Egg McMuffin, a croissant and some roast beef is a damn good breakfast.
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I visited a church in an attic, which was incredible.
Protestants took over the city from the Catholics in a bloodless coup in 1578, and Catholics were no longer allowed to worship openly, so house churches were founded, where Catholics could worship in private. Some of those houses had actual churches built inside, including the one I visited, which is now a museum. The third and fourth floors were transformed into a church, and it’s amazing.
If you visit Amsterdam, you must see it.
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The Dutch don’t close their blinds or curtains at home, even when their home is on street level. It comes from the idea that “We have nothing to hide.”
The traditional explanation connects it to Calvinist Protestant values: An honest, respectable household could let others see how it lived.
As a result, I’ve walked down the street and seen families dining, talking, watching television, and working, almost as if they are on display.
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I came to Amsterdam with the stereotype of a city that has embraced marijuana and its infamous red light district.
New York City smells more like marijuana than Amsterdam, by a wide margin.
I didn’t visit Amsterdam’s red light district, but I saw it from my canal ride. It’s a tiny corner of the city, and had I not seen it from a boat, I never would’ve known it existed.
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I had an enormous Indonesian feast with the leaders of The Speech Republic. I tried most of the food and liked some of it, which is astounding for me.
This has nothing to do with Amsterdam. I’m just bragging.
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I saw one of those windmills that you see in books on the way from London to Amsterdam on the Eurostar.
Only one. And it flew by at 150 miles per hour.
I saw wooden shoes being sold in stores as souvenirs, but I didn’t see a single person wearing any.
I still haven’t seen a dike.
Other than the canals, the Netherlands, and Holland, where Amsterdam is located, have been lying to me all my life.
