At the beginning of every year, I establish a list of goals (or New Year’s resolutions) for the coming calendar year. I post this list on my blog and social media to hold myself accountable.
I recommend this to everyone. I’ve been engaged in this process since 2010, and I am convinced I have been more productive and successful as a result, even though my average goal completion rate stands at 54.7%.
I’ve learned that setting exceptionally high goals and accepting inevitable failure is critical to achievement.
I’ve also honestly changed my life as a result of this process. Previous goals have led me to me meditating daily, learning to cook, flossing without missing a day in more than a decade, and exercising regularly. Many goals that once appeared on my list are now simply things that I do regularly without thought or effort.
An unexpected side benefit has been the occasional assistance from readers in completing some of my goals through advice, recommendations, and sometimes even direct intervention. Four years ago, the amazing Kathryn Gonnerman turned the blog that I had written to my children for the first six years of their existence into six enormous, beautiful tomes that my kids are constantly reading.
She knocked one of my goals right off my list.
People are exceptionally kind, and I never turn down an offer of assistance.
Equally unexpected is the interest in these blog posts on my yearly goals and monthly updates. I often feel like updating my progress each month is the least interesting thing I write, but apparently, there are readers out there who disagree.
They are some of my most-read posts.
Many people express appreciation for my willingness to share my failures openly. I think it’s easy to look at someone and think they do everything well, but when you look under the hood, it’s easy to see that not everything is firing on all cylinders.
I’m simply lifting the hood and allowing people to see my imperfection and outright failure.
So here are this year’s goals. As always, I choose goals focused on process over product. With a couple of exceptions, I don’t write goals that depend upon the decisions of others to complete. So instead of writing:
“I will publish a novel.”
… my goal would be:
“I will write a novel.”
I have control over the quality and quantity of my writing. But I have no control over whether or not an editor will deem it worthy of purchase and publication. Many great authors remain undiscovered until well after their death, but thank goodness that continues to write in the face of rejection.
Process over product.
When setting goals, we must make them dependent upon our own effort and not the whims and predilections of others.
I always reserve the right to add to or edit a goal on the list when conditions change throughout the year, though this has only happened three times in the past 12 years.
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PERSONAL FITNESS
1. Don’t die.
Recommended by my friend, Charles, years ago. Still valid today and deserving of the first spot on the list.
I plan on living forever or die trying.
2. Lose 20 pounds.
Since 2010, I’ve lost a total of 53 pounds, but I’ve never met my yearly goal. Last year I wanted to lose another 20 pounds, bringing my weight close to my high school pole vaulting weight.
Instead, I finished 2022 down just 12 pounds, but mostly because of illness at the end of the year.
Another 20 pounds is clearly ambitious, but I’m willing to try to make that happen in 2023.
3. Do at least 100 push-ups, 100 sit-ups, and three one-minute planks five days a week.
I’ve accomplished this goal for nine consecutive years, only missing time due to injury and surgical recovery. But it’s not exactly automatic because it’s still hard and oftentimes a pain in the ass, so it remains on the list.
4. Cycle for at least five days every week.
I fell back in love with my bike at the onset of the pandemic when going to the gym became impossible. I rode every day for months. In November 2020, we purchased a NordicTrack stationary cycle, which I have been riding when the weather prevents me from riding outdoors.
I plan to ride on my bike or the NordicTrack for at least five days every week in 2023.
5. Improve my golfing handicap by two strokes.
My handicap is a whopping 17.6. You’d think with the amount of golf I play as well as the lessons I take, I could get this number lower fairly easily.
But it’s golf. Still, 15.6 will be the goal in 2023.
WRITING CAREER
6. Complete my eighth novel.
I completed my middle-grade novel in 2022, so it’s back to my next adult novel, which I intend to finish in 2023.
7. Write my next Storyworthy book.
This book is sold to my publisher, so I don’t have any choice but to write it. Still, a lot of work lies ahead.
8. Write/complete at least three new picture books, including one with a female, non-white protagonist.
I wrote three picture books in 2015.
I wrote another three in 2016.
I started but did not finish four picture books in 2017.
Those four books, plus two more, remained unfinished in 2018.
All six books remained unfinished in 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022.
Last year, I completed three new picture books. One is in my agent’s hands now and may have potential.
Actually, they all have great potential. Kids would love every one of them, but editors currently disagree. What do they know? They don’t work with kids every day.
My goal for 2023 is to finish the year with three newly completed picture books. This can include books I already began but didn’t finish and/or brand-new ones.
At least one must feature a non-white, non-male protagonist.
9. Write a new solo show.
I’ve outlined a new solo show, and because it uses parts of stories already crafted and told onstage, it’s about half written. I plan to complete the writing (though I don’t actually commit words to a page) in 2023.
Ideally, in the first half of the year.
10. Perform a new solo show.
I’m going to find a theater where I can perform my new solo show for at least one night. The goal, in addition to performing for an audience, is to record the show with the hopes of using it to get the attention of directors and producers who can make things happen.
One has already agreed to take a look.
11. Write a musical.
My friend Kaia and I are writing a musical that we will also perform, even though I cannot sing. She writes the music and lyrics. She and I write the story. My goal was to complete the work on this musical in 2022, but all we managed to accomplish was a rough outline of the show.
It returns as a goal in 2023.
12. Submit at least five Op-Ed pieces to The New York Times for consideration.
A completed goal from the last six years. I’m repeating this goal in 2023.
My dream goal remains to land another column in a magazine, newspaper, or online publication this year, but I’m keeping this goal more reasonable. Write, submit, and hope for the best.
13. Write at least four letters to my father.
I completed this goal in 2022. I’ll be repeating it in 2023.
My father and I have been writing sporadic letters to each other since 2013. Since we speak little, it’s been a great way to get to know a man who disappeared from much of my life at the age of eight. I intend to write to him with the continued hope that he will also write to me.
14. Write 100 letters in 2022.
I wrote 61 letters in 2018, 28 in 2019, 53 in 2020, 114 in 2021, and 201 in 2022.
I’m setting 100 as the goal again. The plan is to write a letter (paper, envelope, and stamp) every three days or so, to students, colleagues, friends, family, and anyone else deserving of praise, gratitude, recognition, scathing retribution, or the like.
It’s a way of making a day a little brighter for another person that appeals to me greatly. The results in some cases have been extraordinary. Remarkable responses and incredible connections.
I can’t recommend this enough.
15. Convert 365 Days of Elysha into a book.
Back in 2019, friend and storyteller Kathryn Gonnerman transformed my blog, Greetings Little One, into six beautiful tomes that the kids adore.
I plan to do the same for “365 Days of Elysha.”
In 2015, I wrote down one lovely observation about Elysha every day for a year, and I presented her with this Word document on our anniversary.
A Word document is nice, but it wasn’t exactly romantic.
I’d like to have this project turned into a book as well. Though I suspect that converting a Word document into a book will be easier, I failed to complete this goal in 2021 and 2022, so I am keeping it on the list for 2023.
I’ve also turned this project over to my production manager, but given her workload, I may need to find another way to complete this goal.
16. Read at least 12 books.
A completed goal in 2022 (I read a total of 27 books last year) that I will repeat again in 2023.
I’ve noticed that podcasts have been crowding out books, but Stephen King rightfully said, “If you don’t have time to read, you don’t have the time (or the tools) to write. Simple as that.”
Americans read an average of 12 books per year, but the median number of books read per year is just four, meaning that the blessed folks reading 100 books annually are artificially boosting the average.
I’ll shoot for 12. One per month.
17. Write to at least six authors about a book I love.
On New Year’s Eve of 2021, I received an email from a woman who read my first novel in middle school and has been following my work ever since. She credited me for helping her fall in love with reading and has just finished writing her first novel. It was a joyous way to end the year.
I decided that I should do the same for authors whose books I adore.
I wrote six letters in 2022, and my goal is to do this at least six times in 2023.
STORYTELLING/SPEAKING CAREER
18. Complete the re-recording of Storyworthy For Business.
Storyworthy for Business is complete and available for purchase. I’m currently re-recording the lessons contained in the course, improving both the image and sound quality as well as expanding the content.
My goal is to complete these re-recordings in 2023.
19. Record the next Storyworthy course.
I plan to record my next Storyworthy course in 2023 for a new target audience. That audience will be determined by me and my team, who know how to research such things to find the next most lucrative market.
20. Produce a total of six Speak Up storytelling events.
Since we launched Speak Up back in 2013, we have produced a total of 113 shows.
2013: 3
2014: 8
2015: 12
2016: 17
2017: 17
2018: 13
2019: 17
2020: 12
2021: 8
2022: 6
We will likely produce more than six shows in 2022, but six seems like a reasonable goal.
21. Pitch myself to at least three upcoming TEDx events with the hopes of being accepted by one.
In 2015, I delivered a TEDx Talk in the Berkshires that went very well and has been viewed more than 76,000 times.
In 2016, I delivered a TEDx Talk in Natick, MA, that also went very well and has been viewed more than 30,000 times.
Also in 2016, I delivered a TEDx Talk at The Country School in Madison, CT, repeating that first TED Talk that didn’t get recorded well in 2013. I had to hold a microphone, which complicated things a bit, and there was no timer, so I had to rush for fear of going long. It’s been viewed more than 35,000 times, but I’m still not entirely satisfied with the talk. I want to repeat it under optimal circumstances.
In 2017, I delivered a TEDx Talk at the Pomfret School. Again, I had a handheld mic and no timer, and the recording was amateurish at best. Still, I thought it went well, but it’s only been viewed about 800 times.
In 2021, I delivered a TEDx Talk in the Berkshires that went very well and has been viewed 7,500 times.
In 2022, I delivered a TEDx Talk at Cornell University that also went well. The video has yet to appear on the internet.
I’ll be speaking at TEDx UConn in February of 2023.
I’ve also delivered TEDx Talks at the AT&T Conference Center, Boston University, and Western Connecticut State University. None of those talks were recorded or posted online properly, which is always deeply disappointing.
I plan on pitching new talks to at least three conferences in 2023.
22. Attend at least eight Moth events with the intention of telling a story.
My Moth attendance ever since attending my first Moth StorySLAM in 2011 has been:
2011: 4
2012: 9
2013: 19
2014: 19
2015: 31
2016: 31
2017: 20
2018: 15
2019: 22
2020: 15
2021: 12
2022: 18
Note that this represents the number of times I attended a Moth event, including StorySLAMs, GrandSLAMs, Main Stage performances, The Moth Ball, and more. It does not represent the number of times I’ve actually performed.
Sadly, my name does not always get drawn from the hat.
As opportunities to speak and perform at other venues for various organizations have increased, the time I’ve had to dedicate to Moth events has decreased, even though they remain my favorite shows in the world.
Give me a Moth StorySLAM any day.
Attending eight Moth events in 2023 is a low number given my previous record, but my children are getting more involved in activities that I want to be sure to attend, so I want to ensure balance in my life while striving to achieve goals.
23. Win at least one Moth StorySLAM.
Last year my goal was to win one Moth StorySLAM.
I managed to win four slams in eight attempts, including my first in Washington, DC.
Uncertain about how the pandemic would impact live events, I set a lower goal than usual. For the previous five years, the goal was three wins. That had always felt ambitious, but since 2011, I’ve won 58% of the Moth StorySLAMs that I’ve competed in, and that percentage has remained fairly steady over the years.
But given the uncertainty of 2023 regarding my work and home life (and trying like hell to maintain balance), one victory feels like the appropriate goal. I’ll consider any other win icing on the cake.
This goal depends upon the decisions of others (which I try to avoid when setting goals), but competing in StorySLAMs isn’t enough to justify the goal.
I need to win.
24. Win a Moth GrandSLAM.
I won one GrandSLAM in 2014.
I won two GrandSLAMs in 2015.
I won one GrandSLAM in 2016.
I failed to win a GrandSLAM in 2017.
I won two GrandSLAMs in 2018.
I failed to win a GrandSLAM in 2019.
I failed to win a GrandSLAM in 2020.
I won one GrandSLAM in 2021.
I won two GrandSLAMs in 2022.
I’ve won 9 GrandSLAMs in 32 attempts for a 28% win rate.
Much harder to win a GrandSLAM with all of those annoyingly excellent storytellers, not to mention the three times I was defeated by stories that I helped find and craft.
Arming my competition. A terrible strategy.
This goal also depends upon the decisions of others (including how quickly my turn in a GrandSLAM comes up) but competing in a Moth GrandSLAM isn’t enough to justify the goal.
Once again, I need to win.
25. Produce at least 24 episodes of our podcast Speak Up Storytelling.
Since launching our podcast in 2018, Elysha and I have produced the following number of episodes:
2018: 30 episodes
2019: 44 episodes
2020: 30 episodes
2021: 14 episodes
2022: 0 episodes
Several factors curtailed our production schedule in 2022, but we are excited to re-launch the podcast in 2023. We aim to produce one per month together, plus one episode cohosted by a special guest or recorded entirely by me. With my production manager, Kaia, now editing the podcast, things should be easier on my end, so this feels much more doable.
26. Perform stand-up at least six times in 2022.
I performed stand-up six times in 2018 and four times in 2019. Thanks to the pandemic, I have not returned to the stage.
This is the year I return. I may even have a friend willing to join me in this endeavor.
27. Pitch three stories to This American Life.
I had a story on This American Life in May of 2014. Since then, I’ve occasionally pitched stories to someone I know who works for the show, and last year, I pitched one story through more formal channels.
This year I plan to pitch the show at least three times.
28. Pitch myself to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast at least three times.
When I list possible publicity opportunities for my publicist, Marc Maron’s WTF has always been at the top of my list. I’ve been listening since his first episode, and I would love to have a conversation with him. I’ve pitched myself to him before, including three times a year for three years, and I’ll do it again, at least three times, in 2023.
29. Send a newsletter to readers at least 50 times.
My new company will likely make this easy, as newsletters will become part of the marketing for the product, but I’ll continue to send out my weekly newsletter offering insights into storytelling and a peak into my life.
HOME
30. Clear the basement.
My basement was cleaned and cleared at the onset of 2022. It looked great.
Then we had a studio built in the basement, which relocated many things and has once again left the basement in disarray.
I plan to clean and clear the basement once again in 2023.
31. Clean and clear the garage.
The garage is the land of misfit children who take things that are not toys, use them as toys, then never put them back properly. This ends in 2023.
Also, there are things that need to leave the garage forever. Storage boxes, ancient scraps of wood, old lawn chairs, and more. All of it goes away in 2023.
32. Furnish and decorate the studio.
The basement studio still requires furniture, organization, and art on the walls. It’s coming along, but there is still work left to do.
33. Eliminate clothing not being worn and closet bins.
My closet is organized and neat, but there is definitely clothing that I don’t wear that can be donated. There are also three large bins of the children’s old clothing that need to be eliminated, too.
I plan on completing this task in 2023.
FAMILY/FRIENDS
34. Text or call my brother or sister once per month.
My brother, sister, and I don’t talk enough. I’m going to speak to either one at least once per week via text or phone call.
35. Take at least one photo of my children every day.
I successful goal from 2022 that returns in 2023.
As I scanned through my photos on a plane ride to Indiana in 2019, I noticed a decline in photos taken of the kids over the years. This is only natural. When a child is born, photos are taken every nine seconds, but as time passes, this burst of photography subsides a bit.
One photo per day, every day when I see the kids, in 2023 is the goal once again.
36. Take at least one photo with Elysha and me each week.
A goal that I failed to complete in 2022 returns in 2023.
Even worse than the decline in photos of the kids is the rarity of photos of just Elysha and me. We need to rectify this as well, so at least once per week, I will take a photograph of just the two of us.
37. Plan a reunion of the Heavy Metal Playhouse.
My friend, Bengi, and I lived in a home that became known as the Heavy Metal Playhouse from 1989-1993. It was four of the best years of my life. Enormous parties, the closest of friendships, and the wildness of youth left an indelible mark on me. While I stay in touch with many of my friends from those days, I have not seen many of them in a long time. We have attempted to plan a reunion in the past without success.
Starting in 2016, I’ve tried to make a reunion happen but failed. 2021 convinced me that a virtual reunion via Zoom might be the best option, given some of our friends are spread out around the country.
We had a reunion scheduled in 2022, but vacations and illness derailed that event. I plan on making it happen once again in 2023.
38. I will not comment – positively or negatively – about the physical appearance of any person save my wife and children in order to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
In 2016, I decided to avoid all negative comments related to a person’s physical appearance.
In 2017 I decided to add positive comments as well (save my wife, children, and in-laws) in an effort to reduce the focus on physical appearance in our culture overall.
I’ve achieved this goal for the past six years. By writing about it, I’ve also convinced at least two dozen other people to adopt the policy as well.
For this reason, I will repeat this goal in 2023, even though it’s now simply become something I do.
39. Surprise Elysha at least six times in 2023.
A completed goal from the last five years that I will repeat in 2023.
40. Play poker at least six times in 2023.
I love poker. I paid for our honeymoon with profits from poker. I made a mortgage payment in 2012 with poker profits when it was still legal online. I am a very good poker player who stopped playing regularly in 2015 as I shifted my time to writing and storytelling.
But over the past few years, I’ve been making a more concerted effort to play.
Six games in 2023 is a reasonable goal, though I failed to achieve this goal in 2022.
41. Spend at least six days with my best friend of more than 30 years.
Bengi and I met in a Milford, MA, McDonald’s back in 1987, and we have been friends ever since. We once lived together (in the aforementioned Heavy Metal Playhouse) and started our DJ business together back in 1996. We have been through a great deal together, but in the last few years, we have seen less of each other even though we live 15 minutes apart. Our interests have shifted away from the things each likes to do, and our families are demanding more of our time, but that’s no excuse for not getting together more often.
Six days is more than reasonable, though I failed to achieve this goal in 2022.
MUSIC
42. Memorize the lyrics to at least five favorite songs.
A completed goal from 2022 that returns in 2023.
You know those songs that you’ve listened to all your life but never found the time actually to learn the lyrics?
I’m going to rectify this in 2022 by learning the lyrics to a few of my favorites in this category.
43. Learn to play the piano by practicing at least three times a week.
I completed this goal in 2022, but I don’t feel any closer to being a piano player today than I did a year ago.
Maybe I need lessons from an actual human being rather than the online lessons I’ve been taking
I’m going to give it another year, practicing at least three times a week for at least 20 minutes at a time, in hopes that things (including my left hand) (and I’m left-handed!) finally click.
MISCELLANEOUS PROJECTS
44. Learn the names of every employee who works at my school.
There was a time – years ago – when the number of adults working in my school numbered 50 at most. Today, with teaching assistants, paraprofessionals, and other specialists, that number has grown considerably. As a result, I often walk by people during the workday whose names I do not know.
I plan to rectify this in 2023.
45. Convert our wedding video to a transferable format.
Our wedding video only exists on the ancient Mac that I originally made it on, but I have yet to be able to remove the file from the laptop. It plays on the laptop, but I can’t move it onto another machine or to the cloud.
I’ve been working on this project for three years. I plan to find a way to make this happen in 2023.
46. Memorize five new poems.
A completed goal in 2022 that returns in 2023.
Back in college, I was required to memorize and recite one poem every week for a poetry class, and many of those poems are still locked in my brain today.
I also have several French poems still memorized from French class in high school.
I like having these poems memorized. It’s fun to be able to recite them whenever I please. About ten years ago, on a rainy day at Camp Jewell, we conducted Theater Olympics for our 100 or so fifth graders. One of the events was “Unknown Talent Show” where the teachers had to perform a talent that no one knew they possessed.
I recited French poetry to my principal, who stood on a chair with a mop over his head.
Memorization is also an excellent way to preserve long-term brain health.
My goal this year is to memorize five new poems while maintaining the memorization of the poems I have always committed to memory.
47. Write to at least three colleges about why they should hire me.
A failed goal from 2022 that returns in 2023.
I should be teaching teachers in college. Specifically, I would like to teach four classes:
- Engaging and motivating students through fun
- Effective classroom management
- Establishing and maintaining positive relationships with parents
- Teaching writing in the way that actual writers write
As far as I can tell, none of these classes exist in a teacher’s preparatory program today, despite the fact that discipline, motivation, and a strong parent-teacher partnership are three of the most important things a teacher can do to guarantee a successful learning environment. Philosophy, pedagogy, and curriculum are truly irrelevant without them.
In 2023, I am going to write to the administrators of local colleges with teacher prep programs offering my services. More hubris, I know. But I would also be damn good at this, and it’s not happening enough in colleges these days.
48. Complete my Eagle Scout project.
Back in 1988, I was 17 year-old-Boy Scout preparing to complete my Eagle Scout service project so I could earn the rank that I had dreamed about for most of my childhood. In truth, I was qualified to earn my Eagle rank almost two years before, having earned the required merit badges and more, but my service project had been sitting on the back burner, waiting to be completed.
I needed a parent or two to light a fire under my butt and support me in this endeavor, but I wasn’t graced with that level of parental involvement at the time.
My plan was to plant trees and clean up a cemetery in my hometown of Blackstone, MA. My troop had planted trees in that same cemetery about five years earlier, but those trees had died. I wanted to replace them and complete the work that we had originally promised.
Then, on December 23, 1988, I was in a car accident that nearly killed me. As a result of the accident, I was in a full-length leg cast for three months and required an enormous amount of healing and recovery. With just three months left until I turned 18 (the deadline to complete an Eagle service project), my parents requested an extension, and it was denied.
Though upon reflection, it occurs to me that perhaps that extension was never even requested.
Either way, my childhood dream of becoming an Eagle Scout was over. It’s one of my life’s greatest regrets.
Maybe the greatest.
But I recently decided that it would be good to complete that Eagle Scout project even though it won’t come with my much-desired Eagle Scout rank.
It feels right. Maybe I’ll feel a little better about the past.
I’ve planned on doing this for the last two years. Now that Charlie is a Scout, it feels much more doable in 2023.
49. Post my progress regarding these resolutions on this blog and social media on the first day of every month.
