My friend recently read about a naked standup show in New York City and texted:
“Please don’t invite me to come watch if you decide to do this.”
I was honored by his thought that I might consider doing such a thing. Standup is hard enough already. The possibility in my friend’s mind that I might be willing to perform standup naked is a good thing, I think.
As an elementary school teacher, it’s probably not a good idea. Also, the show seems to draw professional comics, and I am definitely not a professional.
Still, it’s a thought.
About five years ago, I was invited to perform in a naked storytelling show in Boston, and I declined for the same reason:
Teachers probably shouldn’t appear naked in public. When I need to pee on the golf course, I walk into the woods on the advice of a former principal who advised that I never give a reason for anyone to ever think I’ve publicly exposed myself, accidentally or otherwise.
Performing naked seems like the extreme edge of this concern.
Also, I’m not sure how Elysha would feel about this.
But it still bothers me that I declined. I’m a person who preaches and relentlessly practices the philosophy of saying yes to every opportunity presented, every time I declined an opportunity lingers with me, making me wonder if it was a rationale, reasonable decision, or simply one born from fear.
In the case of naked storytelling, I’m not sure. I suspect that my role as an elementary school year is a good reason to avoid this kind of thing, then again, the show was in Boston, 150 miles away in another state.
Not exactly in my backyard.
And though my school district might prefer that I avoid such things, could they really terminate my employment over performing naked during non-school hours?
I’m not sure.
And if a video of the performance was ever recorded and uploaded to the internet, that might create some problems for me, too. My students already read my books, watch my stories online, and even listen to our podcast.
None of which I promote, advise, consent to, or even think is worthy of their time.
It’s not hard to imagine them also finding some audience member’s video of me performing standup naked, which would make for an awkward school day for both them and me.
Probably best that I said no.
But declining that opportunity to tell stories naked really has bothered me over the years. It violated a core principle of mine, and I worry that I may end up regretting that decision later in life.
But knowing that my friend saw naked standup as something I might do someday mitigates that fear of regret a bit. Perhaps it wasn’t latent fear that caused me to decline the offer but old-fashioned common sense.
