I hate Crocs.
I’ve never donned a pair because I’m afraid I’ll like them too much. And I don’t want to like them because, to me, they look like footwear for people who have given up on life.
I tell my students (and my own children) that Crocs are like wearing trashcans on their feet.
I’ll bet they are super comfortable and incredibly convenient. Everyone seems to own a pair. Intelligent, hard-working friends of mine own Crocs.
Millions of people can’t be wrong.
That is why I refuse to try them on.
I don’t want to wear trashcans on my feet.
I don’t want to become someone who can’t spend 30 seconds tying real shoes to my feet.
I want to be ready to run at all times.
I have never tasted coffee for similar reasons. I simply can’t invest the time, energy, and bandwidth into a beverage that seems precariously poised to disappoint the consumer:
Too hot, too cold, too much sugar, too little sugar, the wrong kind of sugar, the wrong flavoring, too little flavoring, too much cream, the wrong kind of cream, the wrong brand, the wrong bean, the right bean roasted poorly…
It’s endless.
I also don’t ever want to spend any time talking about my beverages, and coffee drinkers spend a lot of time talking about coffee.
So I’ve avoided it all my life. Never tasted it even once. Granted, I don’t like hot drinks very much, and I don’t love the smell of coffee, so even if I tried it, I might not like it.
Then again, billions of people can’t be wrong.
So, I finally found a solution to this conundrum:
I bought stock in Crocs this week. I’ve already owned stock in Starbucks for years.
If I’m going to avoid a product out of fear of loving it like so many others, I will participate in the excitement of these products by benefiting financially from their success.
