On the seventh hole at Buena Vista golf course, Charlie teed off. His drive flew high and far. Farther than he or I ever expected. So high and so far that it came down in a flock of geese on the right side of the fairway.
It struck a goose in the butt. The goose honked, flapped its wings, and flew about a dozen feet before landing amongst his friends.
Charlie dropped to the ground, cackling. I doubled over in hysterics.
The two men playing with us – a father and grown son – looked at us like we were monsters.
What they didn’t know, and what Charlie didn’t know at the time, is that this was not the first time a member of the family struck a bird with a golf ball.
On June 26, 2018, on the twelfth hole at Rockledge golf course, I hit a tee shot that sailed low and hooked left before striking a bird mid-air, killing it.
I hit and killed a bird with a golf ball. Probably a starling. Do you have any idea how improbable that is?
I only saw the brief flutter of feather and wing because I was keeping my head down (as every golfer should), but Tom said that the bird paused midair for a moment as if to cry out, “Goodbye, cruel world!” before plummeting into the ravine below.
I felt terrible. I had killed a living creature with a golf ball. Not a terribly well hit ball, either.
I was also a little annoyed. Following the bird into the ravine was my ball, costing me a penalty stroke. My friend, Plato, says the ball wasn’t going to clear the ravine anyway, but he’s a pessimist who cannot be trusted when it comes to judgment calls like this.
Later on, I learned that there is actually a rule (19.1) that would’ve permitted me to take a free drop. No penalty. But given that a bird died in my fruitless pursuit of par, I felt like the penalty was probably justified.
First me. Now Charlie.
Do you know what the odds of a father and son both hitting a bird off the tee with a golf ball?
In all the years I have played golf, I have only seen two people hit birds:
Me and Charlie
I know that my friend’s father once hit a goose and killed it, but that’s the extent of golfers who I know who have hit birds.
There are a couple videos of golfers hitting birds online, and one professional golfer reportedly hit a bird in a tournament back in 2018, but it’s exceptionally rare, as you can imagine.
Unless you’re me or related to me.
It’s currently Charlie’s favorite story to tell. Mine, too.
