Best unexpected gifts

I made a list of the best, most unexpected gifts that I have ever received. These are things offered to me that changed my life in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

They also serve as an excellent reminder to me:

You need not spend a penny to offer someone a present that is invaluable, unforgettable, and forever loved.

Laura Marchand: Belief in my future

Laura, my high school girlfriend, was the first person to tell me that I should think about going to college someday. No parent, teacher, or guidance counselor ever spoke the word “college” to me, so my assumption was that college was beyond my reach. Laura was the first person to put the idea in my head and convince me that I might be more than capable of doing well on a college campus.

Laura was also the first person to read my writing and tell me that it was good.

Both of those gifts changed my life.

Jeff “Coog” Coger: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Coog convinced me to watch “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” after I had watched one episode and arbitrarily deemed it stupid. He wouldn’t stop telling me how much I would like the show, so I finally decided to give it a chance. Halfway through that second episode, I realized, “Oh, it’s funny. It’s also drop-dead serious, but it’s funny, too.”

I was hooked.

I watched all seven seasons (back when doing so wasn’t as easy as it is today), and when Elysha and I began dating, I watched all seven seasons again after convincing her to give it a try. Watching “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” with Elysha, early in our relationship, is a happy memory for me that has yielded nearly two decades of Buffy conversation, references, and inside jokes between us.

I hope to be watching the series one more time with my children soon.

James “Bengi” Bengiovanni: A roof over my head and audiobooks

When I didn’t have anywhere to live after high school and knowing that I was expected to move out of my childhood home, Bengi appeared – seemingly out of nowhere – and asked me to move in with him. He was attending college at the time but hated dorm life, so he needed a place to live off campus and a roommate.

So one night, while sitting in the cab of a bulldozer on a construction site in Milford, Massachusetts that would eventually become a Stop & Shop, Bengi outlined his plan for us to live together.

He had no idea how overwhelmed with gratitude and relief I was as he spoke.

In so many ways, he saved me that night.

Bengi also convinced me to stop being a book snob and give audiobooks a try almost 30 years ago. Today, I consume more than half of my books via audiobook, and I’ve recorded two audiobooks of my own.

Mary and Gerry Coughlin: A roof over my head

When I became homeless after having been arrested for a crime I did not commit, Mary and Gerry Coughlin saved me by offering me a roof over my head. I had begun to lose hope that I would ever extract myself from the streets, but Mary and Gerry’s kindness, generosity, and willingness to see me and my struggle saved me in the same way that Bengi had saved me four years earlier.

Elysha Dicks: Unwavering support and David Golder

Elysha has introduced me to many people over the years, and most have been lovely people, but one – David Golder – has been a real treasure. Elysha went to high school with David’s wife and were still friends, so she invited the two of them to the debut of a rock opera that I had written and produced with my friend, Andy Mayo.

David and I became fast friends and remain so today.

Elysha has also offered me unwavering support over the years, which sounds pedestrian given that she is my wife, but I am not the easiest person with whom to hitch your wagon. I say things that others don’t love. I place myself in the occasional precarious position. I have legitimate enemies, and at least a few of them have wanted to (and sometimes attempted to) destroy my life. I’m rarely satisfied and constantly, relentlessly pushing forward, expanding our lives and complicating the calendar.

It’s not always bad, but I’m sure it’s not easy.

Yet Elysha has never complained once. Never questioned my decision to climb out onto a limb. Never admonished me for expressing opinions and ideas that others might find less than ideal. Never encouraged me to conform to the expectations of others.

I find all of that incredible. Indescribably heartwarming. Mildly astounding. Probably the best gift I’ve ever received.