The last name “Dicks” hasn’t always been easy, but it’s not so bad, either.
It taught me how to punch really hard.
It helped me find my sense of humor.
It’s a perfect jackass identification tool.
It’s a fairly decent means of determining someone’s intellect.
It’s likely contributed to my lack of concern over what others think.
And sometimes — rarely — it does seem nearly as bad as it once did.
Last weekend, Elysha, the kids, and I went to the Bronx Zoo, which is pretty great. I don’t recommend the Mouse House — a dark building filled with rodents — and you should be warned that the smell in the Aquatic Bird House might make you sick, but the rest was fantastic.
But when it came to the monkeys, I stumbled upon these two species, named for the color of their asses and faces.
I couldn’t help but think two things:
- The zoologists of yesteryear really liked to name animals based on physical appearance. Especially monkeys. In addition to these poor souls, there is the proboscis money (with an enormous nose), the bald uakari (lacking hair atop its head), the black snub-nosed monkey, and the golden snub-nosed monkey, just to name a few.
- Red-rumped agouti is definitely worse than Dicks. Even worse than the names of my uncle and great-uncle, Harry Dicks, and my father, Les Dicks.
Perspective is everything.
