Identity crisis
I called in an order at the local sandwich shop today. When I picked it up, there was a slip of paper attached to the bag with the order written…
Forever young
Last week I went to the doctor’s office for a routine visit. Prior to seeing the doctor, a nurse took my blood pressure and pulse. “Wow,” she said, staring at…
Shooting little kids in the chest
On Friday night I played laser tag against two students and a band of marauding birthday party kids. Eighteen players in all and I was the only adult in the…
But it’s just Bram
I told my buddy that I’ll be spending my afternoon watching football with my friend, Bram. “Who’s Bram?” he asked. “Oh, Bram Weinstein,” I said. “He works for ESPN. He's…
5 pieces of advice from my evil stepfather
In the ten years I spent living with my evil step-father before leaving home at the age of eighteen, he attempted to teach me the following things: 1. The most…
What is Hell?
The Devil believes that hell is a place where your greatest loves can be turned against you, so in my case… Springsteen’s Thunder Road, over and over again for eternity.…
At last! A job tailor-made to my abilities.
When Clara is old enough, I will tell her to try to combine her talent and her passion into her choice of career in order to ensure happiness and success.…
Pants are not priceless
A clothing store called Khaki and Black went out of business in our town’s center last year and has been replaced by a bank. As I drove by with a…
Do vegans force their pets and children to be vegans, too?
I find veganism fascinating, particularly when it is practiced for ethical reasons. The morality behind avoiding meat raises so many interesting questions. For example: Do ethical vegans force their pets…
You’re not welcome
I spent last Saturday attending a bat mitzvah in New Jersey. It was a long drive and an early start, so we awoke early, plucked our daughter from the crib,…
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