General maintenance required
Is it acceptable to call your doctor for an appointment under the heading of general maintenance? At last count, the following issues require medical attention: Two distinctly painful knee problems…
Singular talent absent opportunity
This is one of those completely amazing, captivating and awe-inspiring performances that takes my breath away but then leaves me wondering to what purpose it serves other than to entertain…
Father’s Day 2011
I spent my Father’s Day playing 18 holes of golf, enjoying brunch with friends and eating ice cream for dinner, but it was the time I spent at the playground…
Three new Father’s Day laws
As Father’s Day draws to a close, I’d like to propose the following new Father’s Day rules: All golf courses should be set up in their most ideal conditions. Tee…
Father’s Day is perfectly placed on the calendar
It occurred to me that Father’s Day is placed ideally on the calendar in order to garner maximum benefit for fathers, and oddly enough, mothers everywhere. Sure, Mother’s Day gets…
Bugaboo is stupid. Uppababy rules. I’m writing about baby strollers. The world must be coming to an end.
When my wife and I are in New York City, we see a lot of Bugaboo strollers and are frequently amused by their prevalence. There are simply much better strollers…
Lions should not be allowed to pretend to eat little children
I am not a helicopter parent by any means. I allowed by children to cry herself to sleep, climb up slides, and operate heavy equipment while on cold medication. I am…
Overreacting to a little pee
They drained the reservoir, all 7.8 million gallons, because a man peed in it. About 1:30 AM on Wednesday, city of Portland water officials say, a 21-year-old man was caught…
The people who will die first in a zombie apocalypse
People who pre-wipe gym equipment Women who wear sweatpants with the word Juicy on the butt Anyone who prefers calling roadside assistance rather than changing their own flat tire People…
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