Convenience would be a shoe shine boy and a bidet. Not an unlocked door.
I found this sign hanging on the restroom in the local Marshall’s department store. Note that the restroom contains three urinals and two stalls. It’s a large restroom. Not a…
Feeling uncertain about my chest
I like the song “Hey, Soul Sister” by Train a lot. I’ve been listening to it this week as part of my evening run playlist, so I’ve had an opportunity…
The Wikipedia entry on “receptionist” is fascinating. Little did I know that it would lead me to the body of Christ.
I find it amusing when someone says that they work “in reception.” As if reception is a department akin to accounting or marketing or IT. In truth, I’ve only had one…
Friends don’t let friends post creepy video messages on the Internet to women half their age
And just like that, Emma Stone is suddenly the least fortunate starlet in Hollywood. Carrey claims that the video was supposed to be funny and was made to promote his…
Kitchen disco!
There are lots of good reasons to embrace my role as both a husband and a father. But rarely do they come together so perfectly:
Help me choose my column for McSweeney’s
The very funny and popular website McSweeney’s is running its annual column contest, and I am planning to enter. The guidelines are thus: We are looking for writing that is…
What is your favorite number? Favorite color?
Want to know how to annoy kids of all ages? When they ask you for your favorite number or color, tell them that you don’t have one. It completely disrupts…
Is this sufficient visual evidence to determine a person’s IQ?
You go to the gym, presumably to exercise. But instead of parking your car in one of many the available spots at the rear of the parking lot (as seen…
Stop counting words
I would like to offer an unsolicited, probably unwanted piece of advice to many of the writers who I meet in real life and especially on Twitter: Stop counting words.…
Overwhelming evidence of insanity
I am not the first person to question out-of-context quotations. Having been victimized by the deliberate mis-characterization and outright altering of written statements, I know how easy it is to…
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