Dead? Then why not be the firework? And not dead shark chunks.
I have a friend whose funeral plans involve floating her corpse in a boat into Long Island Sound while her friends and family gather on the shore. Once the boat…
You can heretofore refer to me as Lord Matthew J. Dicks if you would like, because I am an actual Lord. Seriously.
It should be hereby known, with all sincerity, what I am a Lord of the Principality of Sealand and can be referred to as such if you would like. Lord…
Stupidest name for a musical instrument ever. Possibly the stupidest name ever.
The recorder is by far the stupidest name ever given to any musical instrument. I don’t care if it was named more than 500 years ago (which it was). It’s…
Grip
My son’s strong grip required me to type with one hand, which slowed the writing process considerably, but it was well worth it.
I want a standing desk, but I’d settle for the the most amazing desk in the history of human civilization as well.
If you’re looking to surprise me with a gift, I have wanted a standing desk for a long time. This one in particular would be excellent. The reason I don’t…
I can play favorites with my children but not my books
Yesterday a reader in Australia who has now read all three of my novels asked which is my favorite. It’s a question that I’ve heard authors asked many times before,…
Hybrid snobbery
The grocery store that will sell me damn good pizza but cannot deign to provide a soda that wasn’t squeezed from the bark of a tree has decided to offer…
Best baby gift so far
It actually made Elysha a little teary-eyed, but she’s still pretty hormonal, so I’m not sure how much of the emotion was genuine.
The first rule of memoir
As I prepare to write my first memoir, I shall embrace this concept fully. You have been warned, you rotten people who did bad things to me.
The Moth: Bike Off Roof
On April 19 of this year, I took the stage at The Moth StorySLAM at Housing Works in Manhattan to tell a story. The theme of the night was Armor. …
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