“I checked his tushy and there was no poop anywhere.”
I was sitting at my computer in the dining room, writing my next great American novel. My five year-old daughter, Clara, and my two year-old son, Charlie, were upstairs playing.…
Seasons Magazine: My latest column on how real men don’t use snow blowers
The winter edition of Seasons magazine is now available for your reading pleasure. If you don’t subscribe to Seasons, the magazine can also be read online, including my column, “The…
The girl rejected her mother’s culinary advances, but the boy could not resist
My daughter shows little interest in cooking with her mother. Perhaps, like me, she doesn’t understand why anyone would want to spend time cooking meals when there are other people…
I guess I really, really, really love my wife.
I had a dream that I was living in some alternate reality. I wasn’t married to Elysha or anyone else. I was standing by a stove, looking at a serving…
Everyone is completely overwhelmed, except I kind of think that they aren’t and should reconsider their position.
It seems as if I hear someone say that they are overwhelmed or someone they know is overwhelmed or a certain segment of the population is overwhelmed almost every day.…
Santa Claus spent the day at an abomination of a grocery store, and he was BRILLIANT.
My wife and kids ran into Santa Claus at Stew Leonard’s last week. Stew Leonard’s, if you’re not familiar, is an abomination of a grocery store built to make the…
Michael Lewis wants women to rule Wall Street. I would like to take his thesis about a million steps further.
Michael Lewis has Eight Things I Wish for Wall Street. Blogger Jason Kottke highlighted #2 on his blog: 2. No person under the age of 35 will be allowed to…
Another demanded apology that will likely go unanswered and is pathetic and stupid either way.
Cleveland Browns receiver Andrew Hawkins wore a shirt demanding justice for Tamir Rice and John Crawford before Sunday’s today's game against the Bengals. Failing to learn from the ridiculousness of…
Just when I start to become a cynical, entitled, unappreciative jerk face, Jenny Slate comes along and sets me straight.
My heart still skips a beat every time I see one of my novels on a shelf in a bookstore or a library. I’m so glad. Never take good…
An elementary school teacher’s recollections from the day of the Newtown tragedy
Yesterday was the two year anniversary of the Sandy Hook tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut. On that day back in 2012, I sat down and wrote something. Then I filed it…
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