The Solar System. Obviously.
Am I wrong to think that my daughter's art is amazing and already worth thousands of dollars?Seriously. Is this not fabulous, or am I simply blinded by fatherly love?
7 things that we all agree should exist but still don’t. Unless you’re four years old.
Seven things that we all agree should exist and are within our power to bring into existence but still don't.A vacation from a vacationThe four day work weekThe elimination of…
Country club dress codes treat adults like children, and yet adults continue to be members of country clubs. I don’t get it.
My friend's country club does not allow denim to be worn after May 1. Women are allowed to wear shirts without sleeves but only if they are also wearing a collar. Men…
The life changing difference between “do” and “don’t”
Attempting to improve on my ability to craft dialogue, I find myself listening to people more and more, eavesdropping on conversations and taking careful note of a person’s choice of…
If you ever wanted to be a receptionist, perhaps you should think again.
This was an actual sign posted above the toilet in the men's room at my doctor's office.It sent shivers down my spine on behalf of receptionists everywhere.
If you have strong feelings about cargo shorts, then you are probably an infantile jackass.
I was surprised to see that a junior high newspaper editorial staff apparently took over The Wall Street Journal last week, publishing a infantile piece on cargo shorts in their…
My son meditates. Seriously. How did this happen?
I thought I heard Charlie calling me from his bedroom. It was about 6:30 AM, earlier than he usually wakes up, but not impossibly early for him.Charlie is four year-old,…
I was a muffin who believed in miracles.
This is going to sound ridiculous, I know. Forgive me. But when I was in jail, homeless, unemployed, parentless, awaiting trial for a crime I didn't commit, too poor to buy…
The Universal Comeback (I think)
I am a self-professed master of the verbal comeback.I once offered Twitter followers my services. Follow me on Twitter, and If someone says something mean, insulting, scathing or passive-aggressively cruel…
Seeking submissions for my annual list of shortcomings and flaws
A reader once accused me of being materialistic after I wrote about my lack of a favorite number, specifically criticizing me for saying that when it comes to my salary,…
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