In a strange confluence of events, Party City, Joann’s Fabrics (recently rebranded Joann), and Hooters are all going out of business.
Quite a collection of iconic brands.
Joann’s Fabrics and Party City are closing their doors and disappearing forever, and Hooters has filed for bankruptcy and is likely to close, though they could eventually emerge from bankruptcy to live another day.
Experts, however, see this as unlikely based on its trending sales data.
Three American institutions will soon be wiped off the map forever.
I’ve shopped at Party City several times in my life. The stores were often disorganized, messy, overstocked, and poorly staffed.
I’m not surprised to see it fail.
I visited Joann’s Fabrics once—years ago with Elysha. I found the store fascinating. It was like landing on a different planet and discovering a culture unlike anything I’d ever seen before. I left the store with an idea for a screenplay or novel that I’m still toying with today.
Apparently, I’ll need to find a new location for my book or film.
I’ve never set foot in a Hooters, even though I live about three miles from one of their locations. I’ve never set foot in a strip club before, either, mostly because I’ve always thought it sad, desperate, and purposeless to stare at half-naked strangers in a public setting.
My friends and I once went to a strip club for a buddy’s bachelor party. When we arrived, everyone piled out of the car except for me. When my friend asked what I was doing, I told him I’d wait for them in the car. I had a good book — Kurt Vonnegut’s “Cat’s Cradle” — that I would happily read while they were inside.
“Drink as much as you want,” I told him. “I’ll drive for the rest of the night.”
When he asked why I wouldn’t come inside, I told him I’d never set foot in a strip club before. “No judgment,” I said. “But I can’t see why staring at naked women who have no interest in me and possibly becoming aroused while sitting beside my buddies has any appeal.”
My friends laughed and teased me about that moment for a long time, but the groom-to-be leaned his head through the car window and whispered, “You’re not wrong!” before heading inside.
Hooters is certainly not a strip club, but it’s known for its revealing uniforms. Choosing a restaurant specifically to watch women in revealing outfits also strikes me as a little sad, desperate, and purposeless.
It’s kind of like going to the beach to enjoy the ocean but mostly to stare at people in their bathing suits.
And for anyone who claims that Hooters’ wings are the best, I could always DoorDash an order of wings before they close forever. However, Elysha and I eat at a restaurant down the road that local media have repeatedly recognized for having the best wings in Connecticut, so I think I’m good.
Even though I care little about any of these dying brands, the closings of these stores also represent the loss of jobs, which is never good. Real people will no longer be collecting paychecks from these businesses, so I hope these employees land on their feet and fund fulfilling work as soon as possible.
The curious thing for me is what happens now?
When Joann’s Fabric closes, where will people get their yarn, thread, and sewing machines?
Online, of course, but is there a brick-and-mortar to replace it? I feel like yarn is something you need to hold and feel before buying.
When Party City closes, is there another location where you can purchase helium balloons, party streamers, and those awful party favors?
And when Hooters closes, where will people go to be served wings and beer while simultaneously objectifying women?
