Someone told me that an actor is under enormous scrutiny and criticism from fans and critics for something he said or did.
Honestly, I can’t recall exactly what it was, which, as you will see in a moment, is exactly my point.
“Where is this happening?” I asked. “Is he attending a film festival somewhere?”
“No,” the person said. “On the internet.”
“Oh,” I said. “Only on the internet? Then who cares? He can just not look.”
And it’s true. If you’re an actor or a celebrity or an athlete or a politician or even just a regular human being, and people are being mean to you on the internet, you can just not look, and then it doesn’t exist for you.
Truly. You might never know it ever happened.
And because the internet is incredibly ephemeral, endlessly additive, and forever moving, these stories disappear almost as soon as they happen.
With exceptions, of course. But those exceptions are very exceptiony.
As an author, for example, I hope people like my books. I hope critics adore my books. I hope the masses purchase multiple copies of my books. But if you asked me which of my books has the highest rating on Amazon or Goodreads or wherever else a book might be reviewed, I couldn’t tell you.
I truly have no idea.
Why the hell would I ever pay any attention to that when I have so many other things I want to do?
Why would I expose myself to potential trolls, middling reviews, or undeserved praise?
I found out this week that my next book, “Cardboard Knight,” received a starred review from the prestigious Kirkus Reviews. I was excited. This means critics are more likely to look at my book, and booksellers are more likely to stock it, but if my editor hadn’t told me, I would’ve never heard the news, because I don’t go looking for things like this on the internet.
I spend almost no time on social media. I don’t scroll on anything. I barely post, and when I do, it’s often a blog post or Substack that I am sharing somewhere.
Instead, I’m busy making things, doing things, learning things, and spending time with real people in the real world, and I must tell you:
It’s fantastic.
I wake up every morning with this thought:
“Hooray! I get another day!”
Why would I spend it scrolling, reading comments, or looking for hearts, thumbs-ups, or mentions on social media?
So whoever this actor is, I hope that he isn’t looking at the mean things people are saying about him on a thing that doesn’t reallty exist unless you look at it. And I hope he remembers that it takes a hell of a lot for any scandal or misstep to be remembered for very long.
The list of celebrities, politicians, and athletes who have done rotten things but continue to be successful is far longer than the list of those who have done rotten things and have been canceled by the world.
It happens, of course, but you have to really do something awful to remain irrelevant for life.
So if you’re being mean to me, you should probably email it to me, because if it’s being said on social media, I likely won’t see it.
If it’s a scathing comment on one of my videos or a harsh review of one of my books, I almost certainly won’t see it.
If it’s a cruel or biting comment on this blog, I will admittedly see it eventually, when I approve it (and I approve all non-spam comments), but then I’ll likely share your comment with the world in a subsequent blog post because most scathing comments are made by people who I find endlessly amusing and worthy of public attention.
I love highlighting digital tantrums.
But fear not. If I do this to you, it’s only on the internet. You can ignore it entirely, and it will almost certainly be forgotten by tomorrow.
